tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26484012343044298792024-03-04T22:20:18.925-08:00Growing Up 21st Century Style" I don't care what color the parents are. I don't care if it's a giraffe and fish living together. If they're raising children who believe they are honored and loved, that's all that's important." -Patricia PolaccoAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.comBlogger64125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-6222722149072567292017-06-11T17:32:00.000-07:002017-06-11T17:32:54.190-07:00The Green Monster: Jealousy<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">"The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves."</span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i style="font-weight: bold;"> -</i>William Penn </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje4-dtH6CGRxAq4_jsEZGtyb8MzQ1F_BL-q4bZTtDeLIavcO3dEAlbMVCg3StbuBVUxhNicRd4Kl61iYPrAYy_sPhWdCFyK6qPIJvIEUo-9NkgVBf7HJeh8EmFH70yHfp1X8rAtLavLOC6/s1600/jealousy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; display: inline !important; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="292" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje4-dtH6CGRxAq4_jsEZGtyb8MzQ1F_BL-q4bZTtDeLIavcO3dEAlbMVCg3StbuBVUxhNicRd4Kl61iYPrAYy_sPhWdCFyK6qPIJvIEUo-9NkgVBf7HJeh8EmFH70yHfp1X8rAtLavLOC6/s320/jealousy.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Jealousy and childhood are synonymous. From the time they are toddlers, kids recognize that others sometimes have better, more, or different. While perfectly natural, jealousy is an emotion that often persists through adolescence, and requires a lot of adult intervention.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>10 Tips for Managing Jealousy</u></b></span><br />
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">Identify the triggers of jealousy, and behavioral responses</span></li>
</ul>
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">Normalize the emotion of jealousy</span></li>
</ul>
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">Address how social media/technology creates jealousy through misrepresentation and bias</span></li>
</ul>
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">Practice generosity by giving your time to a marginalized group</span></li>
</ul>
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">Engage in a dialogue around strengths, and how to use those gifts for personal fulfillment and helping others</span></li>
</ul>
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">Encourage</span> <b style="font-size: x-large;">QUALITY</b><span style="font-size: large;"> friendships over </span><b style="font-size: x-large;">QUANTITY</b></li>
</ul>
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">Model appreciation for what others' have, and their desire to share with you or your family</span></li>
</ul>
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">Discourage comparison between siblings and friends</span></li>
</ul>
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">Reframe jealousy or envy into an opportunity for personal growth</span></li>
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">Discuss how to respond when friends demonstrate negative behaviors as a result of their jealousy</span></li>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-81070914562769850662017-01-26T10:18:00.001-08:002017-01-26T10:18:24.177-08:00Multiple Intelligence: Fostering Development At Home<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-92nUx2SukUEm7iXr8CmXyTbFpT9PXhk3P3Q89gqZXCYj76xCpjQKbfZ3VAfIH0QAcio-7PHupi7nyacfjgA2wHcOqNf36TIjy9fZQ7is3CpBYv6d27vP-ueCJt6X4ZGdLWdgdua4Hr7E/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-92nUx2SukUEm7iXr8CmXyTbFpT9PXhk3P3Q89gqZXCYj76xCpjQKbfZ3VAfIH0QAcio-7PHupi7nyacfjgA2wHcOqNf36TIjy9fZQ7is3CpBYv6d27vP-ueCJt6X4ZGdLWdgdua4Hr7E/s400/images.jpg" width="400" /></a></i></b><br />
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<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">"It's not how smart you are that matters, what really counts is how you are smart."</span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i style="font-weight: bold;"> </i>-Howard Gardner</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Howard Gardner is the father of multiple intelligence. He asserts there are a multitude of intelligences: visual-spatial, body-kinesthetic, musical, interpersonal, intrapersonal, linguistic, and logical-mathematical. As schools forge ahead adopting the common core, and funding is linked to test performance, we continue forcing square pegs into round holes. <span style="color: #bf9000;"> </span>This cultural misperception too easily forces students into binary categories of "success" and "failure. In my post from a year or so ago, I went into detail about the various types of intelligences. Now, I invite you to read about practical ways to incorporate this into learning outside the classroom.</span><br />
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Visual-Spatial Intelligence</span></u></b><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Kids with visual spatial intelligence think in terms of physical space. They are highly aware of their environments. These kids like to draw, build, create, do jigsaw puzzles, and read maps.</span></i><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Sculpting with clay </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Building models </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Creating with legos or blocks</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Graphic design programs</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Photography</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Taking objects apart</span></li>
</ul>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Body/Kinesthetic Intelligence</span></u></b><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Kids with kinesthetic intelligence are those who are masters of control when it comes to using their bodies. They enjoy movement, role playing, touching, athletics, and hands-on learning. </span></i></div>
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">Ninja warrior like activities </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Obstacle courses</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Dance</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Sports</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Gardening</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Drama/imaginative play</span></li>
</ul>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Musical Intelligence</span></u></b><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Kids with musical intelligence show a keen sensitivity for rhythm and sound. While they love music, these kids are also particularly aware of all the sounds in their environment. </span></i><br />
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">Exposure to multiple instruments</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Song writing</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Listening to culturally diverse music</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Experimenting with sounds and rhythm </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Starting a band</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Poetry</span></li>
</ul>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Interpersonal Intelligence</span></u></b><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Kids with interpersonal intelligence learn through interaction, and often have many friends, great empathy for others, and street smarts. </span></i><br />
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">Volunteer opportunities</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Group activities</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Babysitting</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Learning about other cultures</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Traveling</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Reading biographies/autobiographies</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Mentoring</span></li>
</ul>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Intrapersonal Intelligence</span></u></b><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Kids with intrapersonal intelligence are very in tune with their own interests and goals. They tend to shy away from others, and rely on their feelings, wisdom, intuition, and motivation. </span></i><br />
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">Scrapbooking</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Journaling</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Individual sports</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Independent hobbies (collecting things)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Goal setting (raising money, completing a 5k run, etc)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Brain teasers or problem-solving activities</span></li>
</ul>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Linguistic Intelligence</span></u></b><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Kids with linguistic intelligence love words, have highly developed auditory skills, and abstract verbal reasoning. They like to read, write, and play word games.</span></i><br />
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">Reading</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Creative writing</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Scrabble/Scatagories</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Debate</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Theater</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Learn other languages</span></li>
</ul>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Logical/Mathematical Intelligence</span></u></b><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Kids with logical mathematical intelligence enjoy reasoning and calculating. They are abstract, conceptual thinkers who explore patterns and relationships. They enjoy experimenting, solving puzzles, and asking very deep questions. </span></i><br />
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Create/Complete puzzles</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Measure nature using different body parts</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Science experiments</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Recipes from scratch</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Develop a machine</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Paint by numbers/Crack the code</span></li>
</ul>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-43696073145470017502017-01-12T16:12:00.000-08:002017-01-12T16:12:02.432-08:00I Swear: The Cycle of "Are You Telling The Truth?"<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."</span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i style="font-weight: bold;"> </i>-Mark Twain</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAl0cu-7-WfTf6WqXJnwS2Y6pLMvxKGa21f_erQozNMBHZVwT9VXbWZECRDSn4sjoOzVI69hqj6suvNCdBBimgJJwQlDPnXeNN7lkUUb1o6wjVVBQuA2WD4OmmXWWG-2oTzIQL72TepHbt/s1600/Pinocchio-23.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAl0cu-7-WfTf6WqXJnwS2Y6pLMvxKGa21f_erQozNMBHZVwT9VXbWZECRDSn4sjoOzVI69hqj6suvNCdBBimgJJwQlDPnXeNN7lkUUb1o6wjVVBQuA2WD4OmmXWWG-2oTzIQL72TepHbt/s320/Pinocchio-23.png" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">As a parent, and educator, there is nothing more frustrating than trying to determine if a child is telling the truth. The amount of time dedicated to fact finding leaves you exhausted and scratching your head. Kids' most common responses include, "I don't remember", "I swear", "That's not what happened", and "Ummm", none of which get anyone closer to the truth.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Honesty is a tricky concept. We tell our kids always to tell the truth, except if someone is morbidly obese, has tattoos all over his face, cooks really gross food, or their breath stinks. As an adult, we understand that truth is on a continuum, and there are always shades of gray. Kids, not so much! Here are some basic guidelines to consider when explaining the concept of honesty to our children.</span><br />
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">My Behavior: Own It</span></u></b><br />
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">I should always tell the truth if I make a mistake</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I should always tell the truth if I make a poor choice</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I should always tell the truth if I am the instigator of a disagreement</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I should always tell the truth if I have hurt someone with my words or actions</span></li>
</ul>
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Others' Behavior: Own It</span></u></b><br />
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">I should always tell the truth if someone is making unsafe choices</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I should always tell the truth if someone hurts others with words or actions</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I should always tell the truth if someone is threatening another person</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I should always tell the truth if someone shares a secret that he/she is being hurt, or someone else is being hurt</span></li>
</ul>
<u style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: large;">When The Truth Hurts: Just A Fib</span></u><br />
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">I should say thank you and pretend to like all gifts that are received</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I should say thank you when given any kind of special meal, even if it's gross</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I should say nothing, when I notice someone looks different or behaves strangely</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I should just agree, when my friend, sibling, or familiar adult is excited about something and I am not</span></li>
</ul>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-70186171972798596012016-12-29T14:38:00.001-08:002016-12-29T14:38:18.360-08:00Charts, Rewards, & Celebrations: The Truth Behind Behavior Modification<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />"Give me a child, and I'll shape</i></b><b><i> him into </i></b><b><i>anything."</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="text-align: left;"> -BF Skinner </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">For years, Psychologists adhered to the behaviorist philosophy, championing the notion we can all be shaped and modified. Before the 21st century, it became evident that along with shaping behavior, there needed to be a shift in cognition; thus, cognitive behavioral interventions were born. While it is a theoretical orientation I steadfastly believe, young children often do not possess the metacognition necessary to effectively use these techniques. As a result, parents and professionals are often left with a more behavioral approach.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">If you are a parent of a school age child, with some degree of behavioral challenges, the "behavior chart" is probably a staple in your life. At times, the level of complexity leaves everyone more confused, and frustrated, then the behavior you are shaping. So, here are some factors to consider when trying to create a behavior modification plan that works!</span><br />
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Key Terms</span></u></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Reward: </i>Any item that has real market value (i.e. toys, games, technology)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i><i>Celebration: </i>An item or experience that has no market value (i.e. sleep over, crafting, movie night)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Natural Consequence: </i>The outcome of a behavioral choice (i.e. I don't do my work, I get an F)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i><i>Consequence: </i>A loss of a preferred activity/object (i.e. no screen time) imposed by an adult</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><u><br /></u></i><i>Restorative Justice: </i>The consequence fits the crime (i.e. destroy your bedroom, clean it up)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><u><br /></u></i><u><b>The Big 5:</b></u></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>1. </b>You cannot fix every behavior your child exhibits. Select one or two behaviors, such as those which could have the most impact, or are safety concerns. Common behaviors include interrupting, keeping hands/feet to self, following direction, unkind language, and the list goes on....In its totality, this list isn't getting fixed by using a behavior chart.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b>2. </b>Select a behavior and operationalize it. For example, "Keep hands/feet to yourself" actually entails refraining from touching other people and their belongings.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b>3.</b> <u>ALWAYS</u> state the expected behavior, not the one you are trying to eradicate. Continuing with the example of "Keep hands/feet to yourself, here are sample goals: 1. I will keep my hands by my side or in my pockets, unless a friend/sibling offers me a high five. 2. I will use my belongings, and ask permission before touching my friend/sibling's things.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><u><br /></u></i><b>4. </b>Whether you decide to use a reward or celebration, set an attainable goal. If the behavior happens multiple times a day, don't set a goal of a week without hitting or grabbing. Your child will not succeed and quickly lose motivation to improve. Set the bar low, where your child is almost guaranteed to succeed, because success breeds success.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>5. </b><u>CONSISTENCY</u> will be the primary reason your intervention succeeds or fails. Life gets in the way a lot, as you are busy, tired, stressed, and have other children to worry about. There is no greater factor in the failure of behavior modification than bending the rules, inconsistently following through, and rewarding a child who hasn't really earned it. Behavior charts are a huge commitment to be effective, and not for the weary.</span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-14463359549451052292016-12-15T12:16:00.001-08:002016-12-15T12:16:43.668-08:00Call 911: My Child Lost!<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">"The trouble with being a good sport is that you have to lose to prove it."</span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i style="font-weight: bold;"> -</i>Crosby M. Pentz</span><i style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span> </i></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Anyone who has spent time around 6-11 year olds, understands the emotional turmoil that ensues after losing. I am not talking about the death of a loved one, rather a game of four square, soccer, tag, checkers, capture the flag, dodge ball, and of course the made up game with no rules. We are constantly telling our children to display good sportsmanship; however, somewhere along the way, they have interpreted this to mean only upon winning. Losing results in animal like shrieks, tears, running away, and yelling. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I have had the privilege, and peril, of engaging children in all sorts of activities involving winning and losing. I have learned that front loading is the only hope for avoiding complete and utter chaos. Let me preface this with the reality of its effectiveness, which is modest at best, and influenced by things like hunger, sleep, peers, and temperament. I share with you my "pre-game" expectations around how to behave in competitive situations!</span><br />
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">"I Will" Pledge</span></u></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-I will use kind words</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-I will compliment someone when he/she does a good job</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-I will follow the rules, even if I don't like them</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-I will have fun</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-I will be asked to take a break if I cannot do the above</span><br />
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">"I Will NOT" Pledge</span></u></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-I will not accuse others of cheating</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-I will not say "that's not fair"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-I will not make up or change the rules</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-I will not argue with the adults in charge</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">-I will not ruin the experience for everyone else</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">While annoying, I review these expectations prior to engaging in any kind of activity in which one can lose. I then check for understanding, and explain that I will be happy to provide a reminder during, but then you will be asked to take a break. These breaks are usually about 5 minutes; however, after two opportunities to regroup, game over. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Another suggestion is discuss the natural consequences of being a sore loser. This would include embarrassing yourself, not being included, upsetting a friend, and not having fun. Unfortunately, there is a large developmental curve, and some kids can handle the disappointment much better than others. </span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-440171865522602022016-12-08T09:37:00.002-08:002016-12-08T09:37:38.735-08:00Social Skills: When Kids Don't Get It<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>"The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood."</b></i></span></div>
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<i style="font-size: x-large;"> </i><span style="font-size: large;"> -Ralph Nichols</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Navigating the social world of childhood can feel a bit like The Hunger Games meets Divergent. After about 3rd grade, it appears </span><span style="font-size: large;">kids have categorized themselves, and others, into specific groups (i.e. athletes, gamers, etc.). Some groups appear to have more power, and better weapons, to defend their self-esteem and social status. It is like a knife through the heart watching your child be teased or rejected by their peers. While parents can't shield their child from every noxious experience, you have more power than you think. Here are some suggestions to bolster your child's social success.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Children who struggle with social skills are more successful in structured settings. Inquire if your school offers any sort of opportunities during the day in which students can interact with peers in an adult lead activity. Within the community, it is often helpful to find art, tech, magic, or music classes where children can interact with others, but rules and expectations are clear.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Children with delayed, or immature social skills, often feel most comfortable at home. This works to your advantage, as you can offer to host play dates or hanging out. Prior to your son or daughter having people over, think about activities each of them enjoy. Make a list of different options prior to their arrival. Also, take some time to think about possible topics of conversation, reflecting on what is going in school, their family, or community. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">While we all want our children to have lots of friends, for those who struggle, emphasize quality over quantity. School is significantly more manageable when a child knows there is at least one or two people that will always be in his/her corner. It's natural to encourage children to branch out, and experiment with different relationships, but that doesn't work for all. While requesting teachers or classmates is a practice of the past, don't hesitate to reach out and make the principal aware of who helps your child be successful. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Finally, there is a delicate balance between respecting your child's desire for alone time, and fostering avoidance. Manny kiddos who find peer interactions stressful, need time to decompress. We all have guilty pleasures, and for this population, it tends to be gaming. Limited, monitored "veg out" time on the iPad or Chromebook is totally reasonable. Try to encourage games that involve creativity and imagination, opposed to mindless shooting or destroying. </span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-32786850666265007022016-12-01T12:40:00.002-08:002016-12-01T12:40:47.407-08:00Dear Santa: Want vs. Need<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>"It's like your children talking about holidays, you find they have quite a different memory of it from you. Perhaps everything is not how it is, but how it's remembered."</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> -Dennis Norden</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Dear Santa,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">This year, I would like the following presents:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>1.</b> iPod touch</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>2.</b> Legos</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>3.</b> American Girl Doll</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>4. </b>Bigger pillows for my fort</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>5.</b> Autographed Cubs baseball</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b>P.S. </b>I should have written them in order. Just put #5 at the top, or if I can only have one thing, I guess keep the iPod touch at #1. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>P.P.S. </b> I forgot to write what I would like in my stocking (not coal) but will include in a separate letter. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large; text-align: right;"> Sincerely,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large; text-align: right;"> Any kid</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large; text-align: right;">Dear Santa,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large; text-align: right;">This year, I really need the following presents:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>1. </b><u>Unconditional Love</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Before I was born, you had an image of who I would become, and the life you wanted me to lead. Some of your wishes will come true, but some won't. I want your approval even though my interests, friends, attitude, academic aptitude, or athleticism are not what you expected. Please just love me. Love me for me, and in spite of me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>2. </b><u>Patience</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Patience is a virtue, and I know at times my behavior makes life really challenging. You're right, sometimes I'm just being annoying because it's a talent; however, most of my behavior is sending you a message. I'm sorry you're not quite getting it, and that we both end up frustrated. I wish I had the words to express the complexity of what is going on inside, but I don't. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>3. </b><u>Limits</u></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">There is nothing that makes me more upset than hearing the word "NO!". I hear it at school, with my friends, at soccer, and at home. If it were up to me, I would do whatever I want, not thinking about the consequences of my actions. I know that yelling, stomping, refusing, arguing, and being downright nasty, make you want to give in. Please don't! When I finally calm down, and you stop being mortified by my behavior, we will both be grateful. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>4. </b><u>Security</u></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I know that sometimes you're feelings are hurt when I want to spend more time with my friends than our family. Just so you know, it's not because I don't love you, it's just the opposite. Because I know you would do anything for me, and my needs are always met, I can take risks and explore. You've given me the confidence, wisdom, empathy, and knowledge to venture off into the world, and like a boomerang, always find my way back. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Sincerely,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Every Kid</span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-87825972601793248592016-11-21T14:31:00.002-08:002016-11-21T14:31:33.559-08:00Behind The Anger: Building An Emotional Vocabulary<div style="text-align: center;">
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<b><i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEnq_QDyXJjxHvBF-KcshPABvcgOCf7NYbAxn_HhaDQoasJb52NxGgUWmrpmBd8-VfSXaIr1UIKrohWgYRQBq3kHJ5FORF1NN5xTQtCYmlBJO7cmkr9yGglCUWh6tJ9m74F4iJGYz8mmVT/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEnq_QDyXJjxHvBF-KcshPABvcgOCf7NYbAxn_HhaDQoasJb52NxGgUWmrpmBd8-VfSXaIr1UIKrohWgYRQBq3kHJ5FORF1NN5xTQtCYmlBJO7cmkr9yGglCUWh6tJ9m74F4iJGYz8mmVT/s400/images.jpg" width="400" /></a> </i></b><br />
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<b><i> </i></b><b><i><span style="font-size: large;">"Speak when you are angry-and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret"</span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> -Laurence J. Peter</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1. I can't go to the birthday party!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">2. There is too much work!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">3. My friend didn't sit at my table!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">4. I got a bad grade on my test!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">5. No one will help me! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And the list goes on...</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">As an educator, and private practitioner, I have noticed a proliferation in the number of kids who are "angry". Regardless of what events transpired, the safe, go to emotion, is anger. As adults modeling emotional regulation, our repertoire is often limited to happy and angry. While anger is the easiest, and most communicative emotion, what about those in between? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The emotions that typically fuel anger include disappointment, frustration, worry, embarrassment, rejection, loneliness, and fear. Anger is a secondary reaction to these more complicated, less safe, emotions. We need to help our kids recognize, and articulate, what emotional triggers lead to expressing anger. Here are some ways to help your kiddo learn more about the complexity of their inner emotional world!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>Literature & movies</u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Reading is a great opportunity to explore emotions through characters of similar ages, and familiar challenges. Choosing a novel as a family, or with a particular child, is a great bedtime activity. It provides a platform to ask questions about the character, but also your children. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Movies are an entertaining way to examine and explore different emotions. Specifically, most kid oriented movies have a protagonist up against some obstacle which evokes a continuum of emotions.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">What a great opportunity to make connections to one's own life. Perhaps this will be the impetus to an unexpected, meaningful dialogue. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>Process Your Anger</u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">As humans, we get angry. Becoming a parent simply provides another venue in which to be provoked. Our kids disappoint, scare, frustrate, and overwhelm us multiple times a day. They see the outcome, which is anger. When something happens, while parenting, or just in daily life, talk to your kids about the emotions leading up to feeling angry. Openly discuss how you managed your anger, and alternatives which may have been more helpful. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Feeling of the Week</span></u></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">It would be wonderful if families ate dinner together every night, but that is not a reality for many. Placing a feeling card on the fridge, bathroom mirror, tablet, or television. Use opportunities, such as the drive to school/activities and bedtime, to discuss instances in which that particular emotion may have been experienced during the day or week. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Imaginative play</span></u></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">You don't have to be a professional therapist for imaginative play to elicit your children's inner thoughts and feelings. Dolls, superheroes, and stuffed animals provide a mechanism to create imaginary situations relevant to what is happening at school or home. Observing, or directly participating, provides a window into a child's emotional world. </span>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-79737507088601597502016-11-17T07:45:00.002-08:002016-11-17T07:47:59.283-08:00Middle School: The Land of Hard Knocks<div style="text-align: center;">
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<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">"I've never run into a person who yearns for their middle school days."</span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i style="font-weight: bold;"> </i>-Jeff Kinney</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Middle school is a bumpy road for many children! This period of life from about 12-14 years old, is characterized by increased academic demands, social stressors, puberty, an a desire for independence. Luckily, the majority of us come out the other side more resilient and a little better looking. For kids with ADHD, ASD, Anxiety, and a host of other challenges, the transition from 5th to 6th grade seems to mark a daunting three years of school for the entire family. Here are some tips to help your kiddo thrive, and you survive!</span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Academics</span></u></b></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">Middle school is often the first time students have multiple teachers, group projects, independent work time, and need for an organizational system. </span></i><br />
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">Expect homework every night</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Check the online grade portal with your child every week</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Compare the homework listed on the website with what your child has recorded</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Use a monthly calendar to track assignments</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Ask to see "completed" assignments</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Know the log in information for all online textbooks </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Reward habits not grades (typically, good habits=good grades, but not always)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Take any unnecessary electronics away (i.e. phone) during work time</span></li>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Advocacy</span></u></b></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">With increased freedom, comes greater responsibility. Students are expected to communicate with their teachers as to be involved in their own learning.</span></i><br />
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">Help your child recognize his/her strengths and weaknesses </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Allow your child to email teachers, or arrange a time to meet</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Identify important resources at school</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Model and teach effective communication skills</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Familiarize your child with any accommodations he/she is entitled </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Set goals for specific skills or content areas</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Guide your child through the decision making process</span></li>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Peer Relationships</span></u></b><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Middle school is typically a time when your son/daughter may be spending time in new social circles. In addition, he/she is asking for more freedom, and less supervision while hanging out. </span></i><br />
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">Monitor all social media accounts</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Encourage face to face communication</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Turn in all electronics prior to bedtime </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Invite your child's friends to the house</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Talk to other parents</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Require participation in clubs</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Look for changes in peer groups</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Know where your child is when out with friends</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Be clear regarding family expectations of behavior in the community</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Practice "excuses" to avoid uncomfortable situations</span></li>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-19101355266866842272016-11-12T11:15:00.002-08:002016-11-12T14:27:03.298-08:00Trump Wins!!: What We Know About America<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;">"The only thing you sometimes have control over is perspective. You don't have control over your situation. But you have a choice about how you view it." </span></b></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> -Chris Pine</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The election of Donald Trump as the 45th President has marked a watershed moment in our country. For 8 years, President Obama made historical progress on behalf of the LGBT, uninsured, our children. While half the nation bolstered these efforts, the remaining viewed these last two terms as a threat to their way of life. So, what have we learned in the last 72 hrs about America?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>1.</b> <i>America is still full of "isms"</i>, having gone from electing a black president, to an individual who asserts he will build a wall, deny Muslims their freedom, and objectify women, all in the name of white privilege.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>2. </b><i>Bystanders need to speak up</i>, so when you see an injustice, do something about it. Be the defender, step in and stop it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>3. </b><i>We live in a culture of fear, </i>allowing the news, social media, and celebrity to continuously shape our delivery of information in such a manner that we view our fellow neighbor with skepticism and assumption.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>4. </b><i>THINK </i>before you speak (thoughtful, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary Kind) because all we have is our word, and if you make false promises, or threats, it's difficult to recant. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>5</b>. <i>Do as I say, not as I do, </i>which has been<i> </i>exemplified by those claiming Love TRUMPS hate, while looting and inciting violence. Be the change.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>6. </b><i>Modern elections are not about political affiliation</i>, rather a fight to protect social justice, equality, and a way of life that ensures every one's rights.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>7. </b><i>What's popular isn't always right, and what's right isn't always popular</i>, as evidenced by Hillary Clinton wining the popular vote, yet conceding due to an archaic electoral process which the President elect publicly denounced.</span><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-22026910940935696202016-11-03T13:39:00.000-07:002016-11-04T07:45:25.800-07:00Fly The W: Lessons From Our 2016 Chicago Cubs<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />"There is no shortcut to achievement. Life requires thorough preparation-veneer isn't worth anything."</span></b></i></div>
<b style="font-style: italic;"> </b>-George Washington Carver<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">If you haven't heard, the Chicago Cubs won the World Series! This milestone represents the ultimate success in baseball, one which required 108 years of waiting. For the newest generation of fans, like my 3 month old son, winning may be all he ever knows. This facade of success masks a century of life lessons learned along the way. Here are the top 10 things our Chicago Cubs have taught all of us!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>1. "</b><i>You Play like you practice", </i>as the choices we make everyday are preparation for the big moment!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>2. <i>"</i></b><i>There is no I in team"</i>, for success is never achieved without support from friends, family, and coworkers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>3. <i> "</i></b><i>Failure is a reality"</i>, because no level of greatness is reached without setbacks, and the ability to persevere.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>4. </b><i>"Relationships matter"</i>, since who you are speaks more loudly than your skills in school, work, or athletics. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>5. "</b><i>Playing to win vs. Playing not to lose"</i>, huh? Life is all about offense and taking risks. Defense is simply success due to another's failure. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>6. "</b><i>Preparation=Confidence"</i>, as talent is often the result of hard work no one sees. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>7. "</b><i>Leadership" </i>can allow individuals to surpass their potential, or become exactly what they were afraid of. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>8. "</b><i>Humility"</i>, because the title of </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">Best</span><span style="font-size: large;"> doesn't last forever, so accept it graciously. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>9. </b><i>"Patience"</i>, as anything worth having is worth waiting for, but maybe not 108 years.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>10. </b><i>"Love what you do"</i>, because if you don't, you'll probably suck.</span><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-3280294577682515392016-11-01T07:25:00.000-07:002016-11-01T08:16:18.820-07:00My Child Is The Best!!!! Well, Whatever That Means.......<div style="text-align: center;">
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<i><b>"You get so afraid of failure and so afraid of losing and so afraid of not being the best that it's not a natural drive-It's born out of fear of failure.."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> -Gabrielle Union</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">In 2016, it is no longer acceptable to be average. Essentially, children are sent the message that whatever endeavor they attempt, the end goal is to outperform the competition. As parents, we may ask ourselves, "What's wrong with wanting our child to be the best?" The simple answer: Best is a relative term. Your child will be outperformed. Your child will never learn to take risks. Using athletics as an example, the NCAA statistics indicate that 1.6% of football players are drafted into the NFL, 0.9% of female basketball players make it into the WNBA, and 1.4% of male soccer players participate in the MLS (ncaa.org). Based on these statistics, roughly 98% of parents reading this post, whose child participates in athletics, will not reap the benefits of having a professional athlete in the family. So, as parents, how do we redefine "best" in a way that is healthy, and realistic? Here are some suggestions:</span><br />
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<b><u>Exposure Over Commitment</u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">To produce a generation of well rounded individuals, children need to experience a wide range of activities. When asked to make long-term commitments to extracurricular activities in elementary school, we stifle their opportunity for growth. </span><br />
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<b><u>Reality Check</u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">It's easy to live vicariously through our child or children. While exciting to watch your child find success in an area you once excelled, be sure there is a visceral desire and not simply a road to approval.</span><br />
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<b><u>Passion</u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Success in any arena, athletics, academics, music, or art, is driven by passion. To be the "best" at anything requires you to love, and desire it, the most. Passion can overcome lesser developed abilities and potential obstacles.</span><br />
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<b><u>Grit</u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">If you're not familiar with Angela Duckworth's research on grit, I recommend watching her Ted Talk. Along with passion, grit is the most compelling trait which yields success. Focusing on effort, opposed to outcome, will encourage a child to take risks, push through adversity, and develop a sense of pride.</span><br />
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Define "Best"</span></u></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">What does being "The Best" mean in your family? Coming in 1st place? Crushing the competition? Hard work? Creativity? Recognition? The challenge with defining "best" is that it is socially constructed, and contextually dependent. </span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-48792634690723646442016-10-18T08:32:00.001-07:002016-10-20T07:09:43.325-07:00 A Parent Advocate for All Kinds of Minds<div style="text-align: center;">
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<i><b>"Our challenge is not to educate the children we used to have or want to have, but to educate the children who come to the schoolhouse door."</b></i> </div>
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-H.G. Wells</div>
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Unlike previous generations, parents are involved in their children's daily school experience. In the old days, parents met with teachers at conference time, spoke via phone (in serious circumstances), and trusted teachers knew best. Today, with email, websites, and online portals, parents have access to a daily account of their child's school experience. With this knowledge, gone are the days of "out of sight, out of mind." As we redefine the parent-school partnership, every mom/dad wants to be an advocate for their child. Here are few tips on how to engage with, and not battle, the system.<br />
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<b><u>Develop Relationships</u></b><br />
Humans exist to connect with others. Our relationships act as the foundation, and impetus, for accomplishing any task. Just like in life, your child will have some teachers who more align with your values than others. All teachers, even those described or perceived as strict, boring, lazy, etc. deserve to be affirmed on some level. If you can find no other basis with which to form a connection, remember at the core is your child. Model the type of coworker, friend, partner, behavior you hope to engender in your child.<br />
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<b><u>Gather All The Information</u></b><br />
Perception is reality; however, there are multiple perceptions and realities. Often parents will listen to their child's account of an event, and interpret it is as fact. No one wants to view their child as a cheater, bully, rule breaker, or low achiever. The truth is, childhood is full of good kids who make poor choices. Before becoming defensive, or waging war, hear all sides of the situation, using this as an opportunity to model active listening and problem solving skills.<br />
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<b><u>Communicate Professionally</u></b><br />
Truth 1: Schools educate children, the future of our country<br />
Truth 2: Teachers are educated professionals<br />
Truth 3: Schools are partners in fostering social/emotional development<br />
Truth 4: Parents are a child's first teacher<br />
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As we tell our children, technology often creates a sense of bravado and courage that did not exist when limited to in person conversation. If you cannot express something to an individual in their presence, DO NOT write it in an email. Also, technology has no tone; thus, you must know your audience. If you wouldn't want your children to read it, then you likely shouldn't write it!<br />
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<b><u>Educate Yourself</u></b><br />
I believe that parents have the capacity to cultivate a tremendous sense of community and support. As in any community, it is imperative to separate facts from opinions when obtaining information. Using gossip, or another parent's experience, is an unreliable way to make a decision. If you have concerns, approach the source, read more, or connect with outside resources. While this may provide a wealth of knowledge, you are only an expert on your child, not necessarily best practice. Give the team a chance!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-80978120097610264692016-09-04T13:38:00.001-07:002016-09-04T13:38:23.988-07:00The Hardest Job In The World<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"A baby is born with the need to be loved- and never outgrows it."</i></div>
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<i> </i>-Frank A. Clark</div>
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As I write this post, I'm on "break" from my parenting responsibilities. I have been on this journey for a month, or a lifetime, I'm not sure. My heart has swelled, yet tears rush down my face everyday. I applaud teachers for their patience, a doctor's ability to heal, police/fireman for protecting us, and veterans enduring sacrifice in the name of freedom. These professions are noble; however, none compare to the task of being a parent.<br />
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My little guy only eats, sleeps, and poops. We have not even begun to face life's real challenges, yet I already feel helpless. As he screams, despite being fed and clean, nothing seems to alleviate these visceral noises. I want to fix it, and I can't. What will it be like when he doesn't get invited to a birthday party? Gets cut from the soccer team? Struggles with something? Unlike the moments in his first month of life, these are actual events to be remembered. As I try to master the parenting of a newborn, I'm already thinking of the challenges ahead, and wondering how many I will never see coming. It's daunting. While professionally I can create sticker charts, wait out challenging behavior, empathize, and listen to lamenting parents, when it comes to my own child, I'm mush. I get it, well, at the most basic level. <br />
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Being a parent does not come with sick days or PTO. Everyday you wake up, and your child/children need you. At present, my little guy really has predominately physical needs. While this is exhausting, it pales in comparison to the emotional demands that will arise in the years to come. Though it would be nice to hope these responsibilities would cease after 18 years, I was certainly calling my parents beyond my teens with some conundrum that caused angst, sadness, confusion, and frustration. Now, I call crying because I am a parent. Our phone calls reflect two generations of moms who can't fix their child's problem. It sucks, I get it. This job is all day, everyday, forever. There is no monetary reward, but love with all your heart, and the outcome is priceless. <br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-34889891106042514402016-08-02T08:58:00.000-07:002016-08-02T08:59:17.560-07:00On Becoming A Parent: Following My Own Advice, Or Not?<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them."</i></div>
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-P.J. O'Rourke</div>
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As I officially enter "maternity leave", with one week until my scheduled c-section, I think the influx of hormones may be hitting very hard. Some of this I've chalked up to having too much time on my hands! Regardless, I write this from my couch, worrying: Is the baby moving enough? Will I actually know if I'm in labor (I've heard a resounding "YES")? What will I do with the dog if I go early? Will my husband know to take an Uber and not use Divvy? Then I step back, and I think, all of this worry and I'm not even officially a parent. <br />
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My little guy is going to come out, and after a few days, my husband and I shall make the terrifying trip home. I will be so consumed with making sure his physical needs are met, only to then become fixated on developmental milestones like smiling, sitting up, crawling, walking, and talking. With every passing day, I will have less control over who this little being will grow up to be. Sure, I can teach the values that are important to me, like compassion, integrity, humor, and generosity, but he will enter this world with a temperament and personality all his own (we are praying daily that it reflects my husband, as life would be much easier). There is no book, or google search, that can prepare you for this. <br />
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Over the last decade, I've worked with hundreds of parents and children. I've seen amazing parents with very challenging children. It is so easy to see a child melting down, screaming, refusing, lying, or being ungrateful, only to judge their parenting skills, and momentarily think how you would never allow your child to behave in such a disgraceful manner. I think we would all agree that there are permissive parents who need assistance to instill firmer boundaries and consequences; however, there are some really, really strong willed, highly emotional, dysregulated kiddos who entered the world like this, and we are required to love them anyway. So, instead of passing judgment, take a moment to be thankful for some of the parenting obstacles that perhaps you've been spared. As I enter the world of parenthood, the nagging questions in the back of my mind continue to be: Will the advice I've offered over the years prove to be worth following? Without being a parent, can you really understand the challenges presented in that role?<br />
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The advice I've always stood by:<br />
<ul>
<li>Children are not an extension of us, rather their own unique beings</li>
<li>Love children for who they are, not what you hoped they would be</li>
<li>Discipline with compassion, as your love & approval is all they want</li>
<li>You will disappoint each other over and over again</li>
<li>Small steps are the catalyst for great leaps</li>
<li>Character is more important than academic achievement</li>
<li>Never give up</li>
</ul>
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<i>"The more people have studied different methods of bringing up children the more they have come to the conclusion that what good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is the best after all."</i></div>
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<i> </i> -Benjamin Spock</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-12065990261251834402016-06-28T07:34:00.002-07:002016-06-28T07:34:51.665-07:00It's Not Just About The Benjamins: The Fight For Our Children's Education<div style="text-align: center;">
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<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Times;">"Education is the most powerful weapon
which you can use to change the world."</span></i><span style="color: black; font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times;"> -Nelson Mandela<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times;">Parents all over Chicago have become entrenched
in the #</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times;">GetItDoneIL </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times;">movement, pressuring legislators to balance the budget, and fund
our schools. While fiscal commitment is the backbone of any institution, it is
only a small piece of a much larger puzzle. As evidenced by the challenges seen
in other bureaucratic systems, such as health care and criminal justice, money
provides a temporary solution to a long-term problem. So how do we
"fix" our educational system?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: black; font-family: Times;">Teacher Training</span></u></b><span style="color: black; font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times;">Being a teacher in the United States is a
grossly undervalued profession, and as a result, the rigor of undergraduate and
graduate programs reflect this. When looking at education super powers, such as
Finland and Poland, the restructuring of their training programs was the first
step in revolutionizing the countries' academic performance. Recently, I had
hip surgery, and felt confident in the surgeon's skills, because he had years
of supervised training, with a gradual release towards independence. Teachers
spend a few months in a classroom, graduate, and are hired for a grade level or
subject in which they may have no experience. As a country, we need to value
the training of educators in the same vein as physicians, with high standards,
mentoring, and eventually competitive salaries.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: black; font-family: Times;">Peer Collaboration</span></u></b><span style="color: black; font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times;">I hate to use the medical profession as an
ongoing comparison, but I will:) It is a field steeped in peer collaboration
and review. This provides opportunities to reflect on process, procedures,
mentor, and improve personal</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times;"> practice</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times;">. In an attempt to refrain from sweeping generalizations, I can only
speak to my experiences of classrooms with closed doors, Principals who must
give notice before observing, inconsistent</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times;"> practices </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times;">across
grade levels, and an unhealthy sense of competition. With high stakes
testing factoring into teacher performance, and the adoption of new evaluation
methods, this only further negates opportunities for risk taking and enhancing
skills; thus, creating a climate of mistrust and contention. These little and
big people are "</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times;">everybody's</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times;">" students, and we must rely on the village. This becomes
ever so challenging when teachers must put their survival above the
students. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: black; font-family: Times;">Commitment & System Evaluation</span></u></b><span style="color: black; font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times;">Reading First, America's Choice, Common Core,
D.A.R.E.,</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times;"> SEL</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times;">, and</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times;"> PBIS</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times;">, what do they have in common? All are a few of many federal
initiatives that have burst onto the scene only to be cut by the federal
government or eliminated with changes in school based leadership.
Countless dollars are poured into program development every year, and as
most veteran teachers realize, if you hang around long enough, it will probably
disappear. Schools commit to the latest fads, without a game plan, realistic
timeline, or adequate training, in order to make data based decisions regarding
its effectiveness. Often, the result is implementation without fidelity,
lack of results, and an assumption that the program, not its leaders, is
flawed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Times;">The concept of commitment is strongly correlated
with system evaluation. Any educator versed in Response To Intervention
recognizes that you need at least four data points to determine if an
intervention is working. These individuals also must consider factors such as
fidelity or treatment integrity, which in layman's terms, are the following
questions: 1) Did we follow the directions at every level? 2) Are the
individuals responsible for providing the interventions appropriately trained?
3) Did the tools selected to measure growth align with the skills being taught?
Instead of taking the time to answer these questions, many districts and
schools will proclaim the initiative is not working, and phase it out well
before the recommended period of implementation has expired. Some of this
derives from a desire to avoid tough answers, but also the need to produce
immediate results for a variety of stakeholders including parents, school
boards, the district, and state. Commitment and system evaluation require grit,
perseverance, and feedback, all skills necessary to impart upon our students.
Who will be their role models?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-25985068180987793182016-06-20T07:15:00.002-07:002016-06-20T07:15:39.447-07:00Successful Kids: What Do They Have In Common?<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times";">"It's easier to build strong children then to repair
broken men."</span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times";"> </span></i><span style="font-family: "times";">-Frederick
Douglas</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times";"><br /></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "times";"> Traits of Childhood Success</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "times";">The
Fab 5</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times";">
I have read countless articles and books on the traits of successful children.
While research often provides an arsenal of data, there is something to
be said for the proverb, "The proof of the pudding is in the
eating." After 12 years of working in public education, I have engaged
with thousands of children, deriving my own opinion. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times";">1.
Adaptability</span></b><span style="font-family: "times";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times";">"Life's like a box of chocolates, you never know what
you're going to get." Let's be honest, Forrest Gump was spot on with this
heart felt observation back in 1994. Whether a child is excluded from a
game of 4 square, disappointed by a poor grade, loses a soccer game, or has to
work with a non-preferred partner, adjusting is a mandatory experience of everyday
life. Those children who appear most successful are able to take these disappointments
in stride by having a positive attitude and recognizing disappointment is only
temporary. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times";">2.
Flexible Thinking</span></b><span style="font-family: "times";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If we all had brains with the elasticity of our 1980's pal Gumby, the world would be a very different place. From a more existential standpoint, there would be less hatred and violence. In the world of childhood, flexible thinking is illustrated through problem solving around relationships, learning new concepts, and perspective taking. As you might imagine, there is a positive correlation between flexible thinking and adaptability. Often, you cannot have one without the other. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times";"><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">3. Empathy</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times";">Before parents and schools became hyper-focused on executive functioning, there was a global movement to create social/emotional curriculums in the schools. Empathy has been a cornerstone "value" since their inception. It is what helps children identify the emotions of others, initiate/maintain friendships, help those in need, and recognize the benefit of putting others before themselves. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times";"><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">4. Cooperative Nature</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times";">Let's be honest, some kids seem born to argue about everything, while others are happy to help, even under less than desirable circumstances. Perhaps more interesting, is that these vastly different little or big people often live in the same household. Kids with cooperative attitudes are more frequently praised by adults, and find making/keeping friends easier. At their core, they don't typically enjoy conflict and prefer to keep the peace. <br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times";"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">5. Internal Motivation</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "times";">In a world of behavior charts and rewards, parents/educators often lose sight of drive, perseverance, grit, and persistence. We live in a culture whose foundation has become that of instant gratification. At school, we typically have classroom behavior systems, rewards, contests, and a host of other incentives to encourage kids to work hard and behave. Those who will find the most success across domains, are the ones who work hard and make good choices because it instills pride and accomplishment. Overcoming challenges, pushing yourself, failing, and bouncing back have inherent rewards that can provide more long lasting changes in self-efficacy than any external reward. <br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-78255187110000684622016-06-08T08:29:00.002-07:002016-06-17T05:57:07.168-07:00The Soft Skills of Summer<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikwEw6qVVNDyip0_M67tFNGrjQDz9WLahZPJuMCMFYLLxLUUvFZGrHiovMb0m8Frohu72H22qal4O5PxDwIf7wShWVrbPIkmdJ22TPnycut8bF6dV1Ig3H4_b3sOqk5q8PTRydPWH0g8pM/s1600/imgres-1.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikwEw6qVVNDyip0_M67tFNGrjQDz9WLahZPJuMCMFYLLxLUUvFZGrHiovMb0m8Frohu72H22qal4O5PxDwIf7wShWVrbPIkmdJ22TPnycut8bF6dV1Ig3H4_b3sOqk5q8PTRydPWH0g8pM/s400/imgres-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></i><br />
<i><span style="background-color: white;">"Hard skills are the foundation of a successful career. But soft skills are the cement."</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"> -Dorothy Dalton</span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span>
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</span><br />
<span style="background: white; font-size: 13.5pt;">As summer approaches,
parents have already become fixated on the "summer dip". Tutors are
lined up, recreational reading programs selected, and you have thoroughly
reviewed the approved educational apps list for the tablet. Did you know
summer actually provides an amazing opportunity for learning an entirely
different set of life skills? Research has indicated that executive functioning
skills are actually the best predictor academic and life success.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="background: white; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
Summer is synonymous with camp. Kids make new friends, play games, create,
explore nature, and a engage in a host of other activities. Disguised as fun,
they are actually fine tuning skills such as cooperation, self-control,
inhibition, working memory, and emotional regulation. Picture it: a
group of campers would like to play dodge ball. They must pick teams, agree
upon rules, compromise, play fair and accept losing. This isn't
just kid stuff, but the building blocks of working for a fortune 500 company,
becoming an inventor, entrepreneur, or a multitude of other 21st century
professions. </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="background: white; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
While traditional camps embody the behavior regulation portion of executive
functioning, other experiences like coding classes, art, and stem programs
cultivate the metacognitive skills required to achieve. For example, these
opportunities require kids to initiate tasks, set goals, plan, and monitor
their success toward creating an end product. This process is identical to what
is expected with independent learning in the classroom setting. Again,
the summer embeds these skills within preferred activities, and kids don't
recognize their inherent academic and professional value. </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">
<!--EndFragment--></span><br />
<span style="background: white; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
Finally, summer is also a season in which there is often significantly less
structure, and more opportunity for self-direction. When kids have, and I
quote, "nothing to do", this also provides time to develop executive
functioning skills. There are more opportunities for play dates, which require
compromise, creativity, problem-solving, and task initiation. For example, it
is a perfect day for the pool, but Johnny and his friend don't have anyone to
take them. Instead, they find balloons and a hose. Johnny's friend would like
to play spray tag, but Johnny wants to make water balloons. How can they solve
the problem? How will they manage their emotions? What skills are required to
create a compromise? Packaged as summer fun, it is really a platform to
practice executive functioning. So, to all the parents worried about the
"summer dip", take a dip in the pool, and play some Marco Polo. </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-39712160481857075972015-11-19T11:27:00.001-08:002016-06-07T08:52:17.823-07:00Managing Screen Time: Parenting & Addiction<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #999999;"> </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #999999;"><i>"Sometimes you have to disconnect to stay connected. Remember the old days when you had eye contact during a conversation? When everyone wasn't looking down at a device in their hands? We've become so focused on that tiny screen that we forget the big picture, the people right in front of us."</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><i> - </i>Regina Brett</span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="color: #bf9000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #bf9000;"><br /></span>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999;">Screens are everywhere! They are fabulous for entertaining kids of all ages during long car rides, Chicago winters, and when you simply want peace and quiet. Sometimes, unintentionally, our use of screens can lead kids to develop very unhealthy habits, and addictive behaviors. Here are some general tips about creating responsible screen time usage at home. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b style="line-height: 20px;"><u><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Limit Screen Time</span></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 20px;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Families should set limits around the amount of time dedicated to using screens. During the week, particularly during the school year, 30 minutes a day would be a reasonable allotment. This time can be used for gaming, watching youtube videos, or Netflix. Kids should understand that on some days, due to scheduling, there may not be an opportunity for screen time. It is a parental decision if those minutes are added to the following day. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><u><span style="color: #999999;">Use Screen Time As A Reward</span></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999;">If you are consistently limiting screen time, kids perceive earning more, as highly motivating. This concept of "more time" can be in 5 minute increments. Devising a chore chart, or assigning minutes to a variety of responsibilities, often engages kids in prosocial behaviors. For example, making your bed everyday may be an opportunity to earn 5 additional minutes the following week.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><u><span style="color: #999999;">Balance Screen Time With Social Development</span></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999;">Kids often report that when gaming, it is usually online with friends. While technology has made this possible, it does not constitute the making and maintaining of quality friendships. Encourage your child to invite friends to the house, and be gamers together, while limiting their screen time. By operating in accordance with your family rules, you can help them find other fun, non-screen, activities that will boost social problem solving and creativity. </span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999;">While many kids spend too much time on tablets, computers, and gaming systems, some are susceptible to addiction. Some risk factors include difficulty with peer relationships, learning differences, ADHD, trauma, and family discord. Screens offer an escape from reality, and for those who are gamers, an opportunity to be respected for their skills. Here are some signs an individual has transitioned from passionate to an addict.</span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><b><span style="font-family: "arial black"; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #bf9000;"><br /></span></span></b><span style="font-family: times, times new roman, serif;"><b><u>Preoccupation</u></b></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Someone who is addicted gaming, or the Internet ,may become
distracted, irritable, or disinterested when away from it. He/she may talk incessantly
about the game to others. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><u>Downplaying Computer Usage</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Children and teens who are addicted to the Internet or gaming may
minimize the amount of time spent engaging in these activities. They may make
excuses about why it’s necessary to be online, or outright lie.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><u>Lack of Control</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Someone who is on the verge of addiction to online usage may intend
to spend 15 minutes playing, but will end up spending hours on the computer. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><u>Loss of Time</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Children and teens teetering on addiction may get online, think
they have been on for a limited amount of time, only to discover hours have
passed, and they have neglected commitments.</span><b style="font-family: 'Arial Black'; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></u></b></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-25442645067431970212015-11-04T05:36:00.002-08:002016-06-07T07:48:10.937-07:00Growing Up: The Post College, 20 Something, Years...<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #999999;">"Nothing will ruin your 20's more than thinking you should have your life together already."</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #999999;"> -Unknown</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="text-align: left;"><br /></span>
<span style="text-align: left;"><br /></span>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="text-align: justify;">This month I will be 35, which means those
born in 1994 are legally old enough to drink, my parents are older than my
grandparents were when I was born, and the decade that shaped my life began
15 years ago. The 20's are a time fraught with anxiety, laughter, disillusionment, exhilaration,
heartbreak, friendships, and frustration. As I reminisce, those years were spent gossiping with girlfriends, swearing off dating indefinitely, figuring out who I didn't want to be, and building a career. Likely due to the collision of adult expectations, with the emotionality of adolescence, this period was characterized by incredible highs and devastating lows. Experiences like moving into the wrong apartment, and putting together</span><span style="text-align: justify;"> Ikea </span><span style="text-align: justify;">furniture, are moments from your 20's that eventually make you chuckle,
offer perspective, and become the backbone of friendships. Like most challenges in life, their impact, and lessons, are not fully understood until the years to come. Here are some tips to help survive, thrive, and love yourself
during the 20's, and beyond:) </span></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><u><span style="color: #999999;">Let Go Of The Plan</span></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999;">Please notice that I did not say "If you had a plan", because the reality is we all do! Gender may influence the components of our vision, but men and women leave college with a blueprint for life. Unfortunately, you will most likely be part of the 99% whose plans fizzle after a few months of real life. While this is a tremendous blow to our ego, and sense of identity, the good news is the sooner you can discard these preconceived notions, the easier things will become. It's holding onto what was, that prevents us from discovering what will be. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><u><span style="color: #999999;">Lower Your Expectations</span></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999;">My father use to say that if people didn't have expectations, they wouldn't be disappointed. Very sound, practical advice, but certainly not how most of us operate. Your 20's are a time of heightened expectations around career, friendship, and love. The media, in all forms, portrays this decade in a vain inconsistent with reality. While this has always been an obstacle, the proliferation of social media sites has further disillusioned an entire generation. Creating the life you want is A LOT of work, and will take time. Not all facets will come together simultaneously! Be patient. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><u><span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><u><span style="color: #999999;">Expect To Be Uncomfortable</span></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999;">No one likes to be uncomfortable. Part of what makes transition (not change) so emotionally devastating, is that the status quo feels comfortable. We forget that middle school, high school, and even college were once new, and untried. Attempting to recreate the nostalgia associated with college will likely be an epic failure. Instead, remember the courage it took to leave home, make new friends, and try new things. Challenge yourself to join a recreational sports league, volunteer groups, young adult groups, or some other social experience. </span><br />
<b><u><span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><u><span style="color: #999999;">Find A Hobby, Or Two</span></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999;">I often hear hobbies are expensive, so what can a broke 20 something really do? Here are some inexpensive ideas: volunteer, explore meet up groups, join a book club, play sports, train for something, check out the local library, find a young adult church group, take pictures, learn another language, or cook...these are just a few ideas! </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999;"><b><u><br /></u></b>
<b><u>Be Ok With Netflix, A Beverage, & Pizza</u></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999;">One of the greatest challenges in your 20's is the shift from communal living, to being alone. Even when we attempt to recreate that sense of community unique to college life (i.e.roommates), it is often not the same. Real life and work schedules dictate friends' availability. Sometimes you have to binge watch Netflix, have a glass of wine/beer, order a pizza, and be ok with it!</span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><u><span style="color: #999999;">This Too Shall Pass (Yes, Mom! You Were Right.)</span></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999;">One of the concerns with social media, is that people portray a life not consistent with reality. This creates altered perceptions and expectations. Suddenly, 20 somethings are left with the impression their peers have tons of friends, party all the time, and are immune to growing up. The truth: Transitions are really tough, and life is not the old way or the new way, for anyone. It's chaotic, stressful, and unpredictable; however, all of this will eventually pass. In retrospect, every mistake, success, and absurd moment, will have created the person you've become.</span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><u><span style="color: #999999;">Accept Help</span></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999;">Perhaps it is how our brains are wired, but we are so very reticent to seek help. Often, we ask too late. This is particularly true in the arenas of mental health, addiction, and finances. Just remember, it takes strength to offer help, but tremendous courage to be the recipient. Be brave! Part of becoming an adult, and growing up, is realizing when you need to bring in the troops. In my opinion, adolescence is marked by cleaning up the mess, and adulthood is about problem-solving to prevent it from happening. Try to seek out mentors through work, church, or other organizations with which you are involved. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><u><span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><u><span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-17006010769587964422015-10-27T09:00:00.005-07:002016-06-07T08:54:07.884-07:00Parent/Teacher Conferences: Getting The Most Out Of 15 Minutes<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #999999;">"The only reason I always try to meet and know the parents better is because it helps me to forgive their children."</span></i></div>
<span style="color: #999999;"> -Louis Johannot</span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="color: #bf9000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #bf9000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #bf9000;">While it's hard to believe, we are almost at that first parent/teacher conference! Unlike 20 years ago, parents have pretty frequent communication with teachers via email, classroom websites, and newsletters. In addition, with RTI and universal screening, snapshots of academic performance are typically sent home two or three times a year. As a parent, this arms you with strong foundational knowledge pertaining to your child's academic functioning. So, how can you make the best use of a 15 minute conference? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="color: #bf9000;"><br /></span>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #999999;"><b><u>Questions With Heart</u></b></span></div>
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="color: #bf9000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #bf9000;">Does my child seem happy during the day? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="color: #bf9000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #bf9000;">Are certain times of the day more challenging? What can I do at home to make those times easier?</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="color: #bf9000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #bf9000;">Is my child able to work with all types of classmates?</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="color: #bf9000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #bf9000;">Does my child seem to have a passion for a particular topic that we could explore more at home?</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="color: #bf9000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #bf9000;">Is my child a risk taker? Under what circumstances?</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="color: #bf9000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #bf9000;">How does my child express and handle frustration?</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="color: #bf9000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #bf9000;">In what ways can we support academic and emotional development at home?</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="color: #bf9000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #bf9000;">For all your students, what do you feel is most critical for them to walk out with at the end of the year?</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="color: #bf9000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #bf9000;">What would you like us parents to walk away knowing about your teaching and beliefs?</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="color: #bf9000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #bf9000;">How can I reinforce the classroom values at home?</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="color: #bf9000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #bf9000;">As a parent, how can I help support you in the classroom?</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="color: #bf9000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #bf9000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #bf9000;">Use this opportunity to learn about your child as a student, not a test score. Take time to see your child's teacher as a person, with insights to offer that cannot be sent home with report cards.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;">Universal screening, high stakes testing, and RTI cannot replace the passion, knowledge, and commitment educators bring to the classroom! Teachers are there for your children, so take a moment and reflect on how you can be there for them, in order to foster the most supportive learning environment. </span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="color: #bf9000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #bf9000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #bf9000;"><br /></span>
</span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #999999;"><b><u><br /></u></b>
<b><u><br /></u></b>
<b><u><br /></u></b>
<b><u><br /></u></b>
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</span><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-6852307438643502292015-10-13T12:56:00.001-07:002016-06-09T13:45:58.689-07:00The "Cost" of Special Education Cuts...<div style="text-align: center;">
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times";">"Many states can no longer afford to support public
education, public benefits, public services without doing something about the
exorbitant costs that mass incarceration have created."</span></i><span style="font-family: "times";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "times";"> -Bryan Stevenson<span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 13.5pt;">In 2002, I entered graduate school, and was posed with the
following "What's so special about special education?" It seemed a
reasonable question; however, the answer would prove more convoluted and
politically charged than my inexperience could imagine. To expand my
knowledge base, I did what any first year student would do, a quick google
search. The results consistently described special education as a
cesspool of mediocrity that failed to deliver on its promise of closing the
achievement gap. Instead, students were segregated from their higher achieving
peers, provided with a watered down curriculum, and held to a lower set of
expectations. So, if special education has proven to be ineffective, why all
the fuss about these recent budget cuts?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: 18px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 13.5pt;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><b style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><u>RTI</u></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 13.5pt;">
<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 13.5pt;">In reflecting on the last 30 years of public education,
Response to Intervention may prove be the largest paradigm shift to date. While
it is a general education initiative, tiered interventions help remediate all
students' skill deficits. This has forced a change in thinking from a "my
student, to an "our student" perspective. This community based
attitude towards student learning requires collaboration, professional development,
and the talents of special education teachers. Unlike in the past, all
students can work under the guise of special education staff to receive
additional academic or behavioral support. By eliminating these positions,
schools will find themselves with more students requiring special education
services because the impact of RTI will dissipate. The result will be
larger special education classes, a higher student/teacher ratio, and low
academic achievement.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: 18px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 13.5pt;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><b style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><u>"I" is for Individual</u></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 13.5pt;">
<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 13.5pt;">Students who are entitled to special education services have
an Individualized Education Program (IEP). Best practice would indicate
that students with disabilities are most successful when educated with their
non-disabled peers. Ultimately, not all students require pull out instruction,
rather support within the general education setting. This is commonly achieved
through co-teaching, in which there is a general and special education
teacher working in tandem. Specialized instruction is delivered within the
larger classroom, not only to the benefit of students with IEP's, but also for
those who receive tier II interventions. This service delivery model
requires there be sufficient special education staff to provide instruction. In
addition, plans should be individualized; thus, some students may not benefit
from instruction within the general education setting, and require a pull out,
replacement curriculum. Without sufficient staff, teachers can only provide one
type of service delivery, which will likely provide too little, or too much, support
for students. We end up providing instruction based on programs and staffing
challenges, opposed to student need.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: 18px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 13.5pt;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><b style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><u>Inclusive Education</u></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 13.5pt;">
<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 13.5pt;">At our core, Americans feel strongly that children with
developmental disabilities have a right to attend school with their typically
developing peers. While this provides a child with special needs an opportunity
to be part of their community, general education students develop awareness,
empathy, and a sense of of social justice. Children with developmental
disabilities require a substantial amount of adult attention and time. With
cuts to special education, these students are at risk for being unable to access
the curriculum due to limited support, or even worse, no longer attending their
neighborhood schools.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: 18px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 13.5pt;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><b style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><u>The Bottom Line $$$</u></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 13.5pt;">
<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 13.5pt;">We can pay for public education, or build more jails.
Regardless, the money will be spent. What do we want our legacy to be? In
my opinion, the cost of developing passionate, empathetic, energetic adults is
priceless.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-5429123501049696642015-10-08T11:11:00.002-07:002016-06-07T08:55:36.876-07:00Get Organized! Tips for Saving Your Sanity & Time<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #999999;">"For every minute spent organizing, an hour is earned."</span></i></div>
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<span style="color: #999999;"><i> </i>-Anonymous</span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999;">School is officially back in session, and game on! Homework is picking up, after school activities are in full swing, and weekends end way too soon. Amidst all the chaos, here are some simple ways to help your family stay on top of their priorities.</span><br />
<b><u><span style="color: #999999;"><br />Family Calendar</span></u></b><br />
<span style="color: #999999;">In 2015, we all like to use our electronic calendars, so the idea of a dry erase board sounds archaic. While you can sync calendars, there is something to be said about the visual representation of your responsibilities. When a large calendar is displayed in the kitchen, or other shared space, your kids activities can be color coded. Allowing them to write on the calendar, adding and crossing of tasks, helps develop their executive functioning skills. It also allows the entire family to know who is available, and can help out!</span><br />
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<b><u><span style="color: #999999;">Carpool</span></u></b><br />
<span style="color: #999999;">In the old days, neighbors and friends' parents, were always willing to pick up, drop off, or help out when there was a conflict. Today, most kids reside in single parent households, or one in which both parents work. Instead of attempting to win an award for juggling the most balls in the air, ask for some assistance. Most often, parents who stay at home, or have a different work schedule, are happy to assist, as they hope the favor will eventually be reciprocated.</span><br />
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<b><u>Filing System</u></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;">If you are the parent of an elementary or middle school student, there are a lot of completed assignments, permission slips, and tests that end up scattered around the house. Setting up a filing system for each kid can be really helpful. These can be baskets, shelves, or boxes labeled for specific things. If that is too much work, just have one box per kid in which all paper can be stored, and then dumped at the end of each trimester or quarter.</span><br />
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<b><u><span style="color: #999999;">Online Access</span></u></b><br />
<span style="color: #999999;">Let's be real, kids forget their books and assignments, a lot. Many books, and textbooks, are available online. Making sure you know all of the passwords, and having access to websites, can ease the burden of tracking down materials. In addition, it always helps to have your child identify one student in class who would be a good resource if items are forgotten or the internet is down. If all else fails, take to social media, like Facebook.</span><br />
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<b><u><br /></u></b>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-74999372173234968482015-09-27T07:40:00.001-07:002017-08-10T08:53:21.316-07:00The Academics vs. The Thinkers: Gifted or Special Ed?<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #999999;">"Perhaps the most innovative thinkers include not only the ones with the greatest intellectual talents, but also the ones who blend that intellect with perceptive dysfunctions that allow them to function beyond the norm."</span></i></div>
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<span style="color: #999999;"><i> </i>-Kiesa kay</span></div>
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<i><span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;">I am writing this brief, yet poignant piece, in honor of students with IEPs who are brilliant, yet completely overlooked. Your ability to spend all day being forced to confront your challenges, instead of sharing your gifts, should be an inspiration to all. </span></i></div>
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<span style="color: #999999;">During my tenure in education, I have learned that we identify about 15% of the population as "gifted". Interestingly enough, a roughly similar percentage are entitled to special education services. Through observation, I have concluded that these groups appear more alike than different. In the spirit of common core, I ask the following question: Why?</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #bf9000;">Public education is driven by, and revered, for academic achievement. This includes a slew of skill based assessments which categorize students as above, at, or below benchmark. Students scoring above the 90th percentile are often considered "gifted"; however, those falling below the 10th percentile are entitled to special education services. Per the RTI initiative, both groups are considered outliers.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #bf9000;">In school, "gifted" is defined by achievement, not thinking. It is interesting to see how many gifted, and special education students, identify with the same peer groups. Perhaps it is their shared outlier status, or more likely the quirks and challenges resulting from strong thinking skills. Kids with strong conceptual knowledge, introspection, and curiosity, often have divergent interests relative to their classmates.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #bf9000;">Unfortunately, educators tend to overlook the underachieving, assuming their academic failures correlate with a lack of intellectual prowess. When these students are observed in non-traditional contexts such as art, music, theater, tech, or physical education their gifts are highlighted and celebrated. These teachers often depict a student demonstrating well-developed leadership skills, high levels of participation, and a positive attitude. In many instances, this description contradicts the litany of challenges espoused by content area teachers. </span></span><br />
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It is with a heavy heart, I see great thinkers forever being overlooked in lieu of the academically talented. With the perpetuation of common core, and high stakes testing, academic rigor is here to stay. RTI will continue to provide remediation for those who cannot conform to our "one size fits all" educational system; thus, great thinkers will continue to be judged by their limitations. </span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2648401234304429879.post-89284758765683238502015-09-20T15:47:00.001-07:002016-06-07T07:49:19.294-07:00 Proud To Be Me: Navigating Limitations<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #999999;">"This above all; to thine own self be true."</span></i></div>
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<span style="color: #999999;"><i> -</i>William Shakespeare </span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999;">If you spend some time with little kids, you will discover they all want to be professional athletes, astronauts, video game designers, or President. Speak with these kids again, in 4th or 5th grade, and their answers have changed. They are more realistic about their strengths and limitations; thus, some dreams no longer seems plausible. In addition, kids realize that talents vary between individuals, and we are not all created equally. As kids begin to compare themselves to others, their self-confidence will inevitably encounter peeks and valleys. Here are some things to consider to help your kids stay true to themselves:</span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #999999;">Big fish or little fish?</span></b><br />
<span style="color: #999999;">If who you surround yourself with defines you, then there are two choices: The A team or B team. In everyday life, this manifests itself in the classes we choose, friendship groups, and extracurricular activities. For example, selecting an advanced placement course, in lieu of honors, will likely present more challenging material and consist of higher achieving students. It is flattering to be included in an elite group of students, but it may involve sacrifice, and a willingness to be viewed as just average relative to your peers. On the other hand, enrolling in an honors class still demonstrates academic prowess, and perhaps within that student population, they will look to you as a leader. This also remains true when considering extracurricular activities. The moral of this example is two fold: how you are perceived shifts depending on your environment and what may be deemed best does not always equate with "best fit". </span><br />
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<b>Compared to who?</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;">In life, there will always be someone smarter, prettier, funnier, or more popular. This is a fact. By 3rd grade, kids begin to notice their skills and attributes relative to their peers. As the years progress, it results in decreased self-confidence and a focus on what they cannot do. When you're chronically defeated because your friend earned a higher test grade, or the soccer coach picked a different captain, you will never be able to celebrate personal success. Often, while we are reaching one goal, our minds are already onto the next desired accomplishment. This precludes us from celebrating all that we have done. For example, your are a sophomore in high school and asked to play on the varsity water polo team. While this is a prestigious opportunity, you notice that other teammates get significantly more playing time. You become fixated on playing time, and quite jealous of those player who are starting. In reality, you've taken a very big accomplishment, which likely represented years of hard work, and dismissed it. Try to be proud of your talents, instead of wasting energy on resenting the gifts of others.</span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #999999;">Who am I trying to impress?</span></b><br />
<span style="color: #999999;">So often we make choices to participate in activities, classes, or hang out with certain groups, because we have been told that this reflects our life goals. You may skip going to a party to study for an AP Biology exam, because this is what is required to attend the best college. You play for Chicago Fire Premiere Soccer Club, because that program provides the best opportunities. You joined student council because the group who graduated all went on to attend elite universities. Take a step back. Are you killing yourself to manage all of this? There are some kids who were born to be on top, as if the rigor of competition seems to only enhance their skills. This is the 1%! Challenge yourself, but don't set the stage for failure and disappointment. Even if you exhaust yourself, someone will always have more accolades; however, not everyone can make the choice to create an environment which promotes their self-confidence and success. </span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #999999;">What's the end game?</span></b><br />
<span style="color: #999999;">When the day finally arrives, and you have graduated high school, what are you hoping will be the culmination of your efforts? Attending an elite university? Leaving a legacy in the school's athletics, theater, or music program? Being recognized for your volunteerism and social service? Developing incredible bonds with life long friends? The choices we make everyday should help us get one step closer to achieving our goal. For example, if playing baseball is central to your identity, and you would like to play at the collegiate level, then perhaps the time commitment prevents you from taking an AP class. On the other hand, if your goal is to be accepted directly into a prestigious business school, then maybe it is worth taking the advanced math class, and cutting back on your social obligations. The bottom line: make choices that get you closer to your goal, not that of your friend, teammate, or significant other. </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08957213131365216004noreply@blogger.com0