Anxious Kids or Anxious Grown Ups? You Decide!

The number of children presenting with school related anxiety, and anxiety in general, is on the rise. I work in a school, so it is easy to look to things like common core standards, high stakes testing, and the removal of play in the primary grades as a catalyst for this phenomenon.  That said, until about

7^th grade, I don’t think most students understand the implications of universal screening, progress monitoring, PARCC, or common core standards.  I can’t provide statistics, like 50 out of 100 students interviewed knew the definitions of the following: common core, universal screening, progress monitoring, or high stakes testing.  I can provide reflection upon authentic experiences with children who willingly, and without much care, are happy to sit in front of a computer and complete reading or math assessments (especially if it means they don’t have to be in social studies).  We tell them a number to shoot for, if they get close, it’s exciting, if they don’t, oh well, back to class.  They didn’t get the number, so some nice teacher will give them extra attention, work a little more on reading or math, and the day will continue.  At home, you’ll hear all about how Johnny farted in the middle of reading, Jenna is still being mean, or that Mr. Jones blew something up in science.

Behind closed doors, teachers and administrators are looking at data! We need to have a triangle of 80%, 15%, 5%. Even when we do, there is worry for those 15% who need additional intervention, and sheer panic for the 5% who need a ton of intervention. While these meetings are happening, children are learning about World War 2, properties of magnets, listening to a read aloud, or using technology.  Sounds like a rough life!  While the children are living life, the adults reflect on how to improve our data, what this means for their evaluations, and how to communicate with parents regarding their son/daughter. 

The panic has begun, but we have put on brave faces for our students. Now the time has come to share our data with parents. Most parents know little about the educational system, the meaning of the data, or what information is really concerning. Despite this, you are bombarded with form letters inviting your child to participate in an intervention program, attend a parent/teacher conference where your child ranks 12th out of 23 students in his/her homeroom, yet in the mail comes the results of the district  assessments, where the dot (your child) and the target, appear to have a love/hate relationship. Now, the panic has left the building, and entered the community!

How do parents respond? They talk to each other! A small concern becomes a major crisis, average performance becomes below average, and fear that your child will never get into college (even though he/she is 7) has become a reality. While your dreams are shattering, what are your children doing? They continue to go to school, eat lunch with friends, get excited about field trips, and take pride in the B- earned on the most recent math test. 

Parents love their children, so they spring into action. It’s time to request a meeting with the school, find a list of tutors, and talk about summer school.  All the while, wondering “is this even enough”? Should I consider requesting an evaluation for special education? At dinner, the conversation shifts from Johnny farting, to what level books did you bring home? How many points away were you on the placement test for enriched math? Is their extra credit available in science to boost your grade from a B+ to an A? Who’s in your reading group? Which group are you in for math? The school day as your children know it, has now been disrupted. Suddenly, they notice their best friend is in a higher math class. The nice reading teacher, well, she only helps dumb students. Earning a B on a test is ok, but an A would make my parents much happier.  Days of playing after school, or going to practice, while not entirely gone, are supplemented with Kumon, Huntington, and Sylvan in order to out run average. 

Children are watching, listening when you think they’re not, and comparing themselves to others.  School is a constant, but your expectations grow at a rate disproportionate to children’s learning abilities. Suddenly, it’s not ok to be in the middle reading group, or go with Mrs. James for extra reading, or participate in regular math, or join just one club. Now when your children go to school, it’s a little harder to get them out of bed. Maybe their stomach hurts. Maybe they have a headache. Maybe completing homework and studying is a battle because they can’t get a good enough grade. Maybe they feel your love and approval is tied to their academic performance, and avoid it like the plague.  Maybe school isn't so great after all.

 I end my thoughts with the same question: Anxious Kids or Anxious Grown Ups? You Decide!