"Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly."
-Stephen R. Covey
My Opening Thoughts
I was watching a Ted Talk on grit, and began thinking about how this construct relates to motivation. I'm sure there is no paucity of scientific studies; however, sometimes reflection on everyday life is the richest context. Middle school seems to mark the tipping point in motivation, separating the "haves" from the "have nots". As one might imagine, most of my time is spent problem solving around those who would be classified as the "have nots". What many of these kids have in common, besides low motivation, is minimal grit. When things get tough, they shut down. It's the old chicken and the egg conundrum: Do kids with grit have higher levels of motivation? Do kids with higher levels of motivation, have more grit? Schools provide a great norm group for study, but yield very few answers.
Motivation Vocabulary 101
Internal Locus of Control:
A belief that events and outcomes in one's life are controlled by attitude, preparation, and effort.
External Locus of Control:
A belief that events and outcomes in one's life are controlled by the environment, other people, or a higher power.
Self Efficacy:
A belief that we have the capacity to execute behaviors needed to accomplish a task, based on previous experience, confidence, and perceived ability to control our environment.
Rewards:
An item that has commercial value and is expected in advance of a task.
Example 1: If you do the laundry, I will get you a new toy.
Celebrations:
An item or experience that may have commercial value, or be expected, but not both.
Example 1: Your son gets straight A's, and you surprise him with a ski trip (unexpected, commercial value)
Example 2: Your son is told that if he gets straight A's, you will push his curfew back 30 minutes (expected, no commercial value)
Consequences:
This refers to the natural outcome of engaging in a negative behavior, or failing to engage in a positive behavior.
Example 1: Your son does not complete his homework, therefore he earns an F.
Example 3: Your son copies his homework from a friend, is caught, and earns an F.
Punishment:
This refers to an imposed penalty that may, or may not, be directly tied to the offense.
Example 1: Your child is posting inappropriate messages on social media, the punishment may be the loss of using social media, or the Internet.
Child #1: Intrinsic Motivation
We are all born with intrinsic motivation. For example, watch a toddler explore the environment, and light up at the bumps, things, and moments along the way. Children who evidence high levels of intrinsic motivation, typically have a well-developed internal locus of control, strong sense of self-efficacy, and are rewarded by the natural outcomes of their actions. Along the way, adults, peers, and the environment, provide celebrations such as praise, good grades, privileges, and positive attention. If this describes your children, you can stop reading!
Child #2: Extrinsic Motivation
If you are a parent, or educator, life has taken you down the path of extrinsic motivation at some point in time, and probably more than once. This is defined as motivation that comes about from the promise of a tangible, marketable reward. A parent may promise, if you do your homework in 30 minutes, I will buy you a new video game. A teacher may promise, if you get a B+ or better on a test, you can have a piece of candy. This form of motivation was developed by BF Skinner, who believed we could manipulate behavior by rewards and punishments. Unfortunately, there are three major consequences: 1) Over time, continuous use of rewards and punishment eats away at internal motivation. 2) What is the limit to the magnitude of rewards? If it is candy when a child is 9 years old, will it be a new car when he is 16 years old? 3) Rewards may have the power to shape certain behaviors, in the moment, but there is no guarantee of generalization to other situations.
Child #3: A Little Bit of Both
There are some children who are highly motivated to take on any challenge! Let's be honest, that is not the majority:) When working with children around motivation, it is important to set goals, assess the skills required for the task, and identify celebrations. It should be noted that internal motivation begins to dwindle when a task seems too difficult, not of great value, and the natural outcome is not reinforcing. While low motivation can be a pervasive problem, focus your initial efforts in an area where there has been more success. Relationships and communication are the cornerstones of rebuilding intrinsic motivation. Setting goals provides a concrete avenue with which to establish mutual excitement, trust, and team work. Build in celebrations each step of the way. For children who are really struggling, I believe celebrations need to be expected. Parents, teachers, and children can work together to create a list of non-commercial items, and then use a lottery system, to keep things fun and exciting. Some of my favorite at home celebration items include special dinner, extra minutes online, later curfew, date with Mom/Dad, breakfast in bed, sleepover, and maid for an hour. While this is not an exhaustive list, these interpersonal opportunities are very exciting for children.
Our gut instinct, as parents and educators, is to punish children when they are non-compliant. I believe that children have certain responsibilities, that are non-negotiable, and deserve punishment in their absence. It is paramount for children to understand the difference between a right and privilege; however, chronic offenders do not change their behavior as a result of punishment. I point this out because when trying to rebuild intrinsic motivation in children, we are often heavy handed in the area of punishment. Ideally, there needs to be a balance between punishment and celebrations. Children who are not doing school, and as a result, earning subpar grades, should not be enjoying the perks of baseball practice, social media, and hanging out with friends. Our error as adults, is expecting that the resolution be the eradication of the problem. That is a wonderful long term goal, but one that will not build intrinsic motivation in the interim. We need to respond to the situation with a very specific focus, identifiable steps, and attainable goal. Punishments and celebrations should be tied to that plan. In reality, if you haven't been practicing for a 5k, how can we expect you to run a marathon?
My Concluding Thoughts
Motivation comes from within; however, we can help facilitate relationships, feedback, and an environment to bolster its development. It is a slow, frustrating, process that for some takes most of their childhood. It can put tremendous strain on the parent/child relationship. Where I struggle, is feeling as though we can change, modify, and take away obstacles to motivation, yet children continue to appear unresponsive. It is a bit like the definition of insanity, where one does the same things over and over, expecting a different outcome! On the other hand, I find my motivation, and grit, in the knowledge that it only takes one time, and one child, to know our efforts were not in vein.
I was watching a Ted Talk on grit, and began thinking about how this construct relates to motivation. I'm sure there is no paucity of scientific studies; however, sometimes reflection on everyday life is the richest context. Middle school seems to mark the tipping point in motivation, separating the "haves" from the "have nots". As one might imagine, most of my time is spent problem solving around those who would be classified as the "have nots". What many of these kids have in common, besides low motivation, is minimal grit. When things get tough, they shut down. It's the old chicken and the egg conundrum: Do kids with grit have higher levels of motivation? Do kids with higher levels of motivation, have more grit? Schools provide a great norm group for study, but yield very few answers.
Motivation Vocabulary 101
Internal Locus of Control:
A belief that events and outcomes in one's life are controlled by attitude, preparation, and effort.
External Locus of Control:
A belief that events and outcomes in one's life are controlled by the environment, other people, or a higher power.
Self Efficacy:
A belief that we have the capacity to execute behaviors needed to accomplish a task, based on previous experience, confidence, and perceived ability to control our environment.
Rewards:
An item that has commercial value and is expected in advance of a task.
Example 1: If you do the laundry, I will get you a new toy.
Celebrations:
An item or experience that may have commercial value, or be expected, but not both.
Example 1: Your son gets straight A's, and you surprise him with a ski trip (unexpected, commercial value)
Example 2: Your son is told that if he gets straight A's, you will push his curfew back 30 minutes (expected, no commercial value)
Consequences:
This refers to the natural outcome of engaging in a negative behavior, or failing to engage in a positive behavior.
Example 1: Your son does not complete his homework, therefore he earns an F.
Example 3: Your son copies his homework from a friend, is caught, and earns an F.
Punishment:
This refers to an imposed penalty that may, or may not, be directly tied to the offense.
Example 1: Your child is posting inappropriate messages on social media, the punishment may be the loss of using social media, or the Internet.
Child #1: Intrinsic Motivation
We are all born with intrinsic motivation. For example, watch a toddler explore the environment, and light up at the bumps, things, and moments along the way. Children who evidence high levels of intrinsic motivation, typically have a well-developed internal locus of control, strong sense of self-efficacy, and are rewarded by the natural outcomes of their actions. Along the way, adults, peers, and the environment, provide celebrations such as praise, good grades, privileges, and positive attention. If this describes your children, you can stop reading!
Child #2: Extrinsic Motivation
If you are a parent, or educator, life has taken you down the path of extrinsic motivation at some point in time, and probably more than once. This is defined as motivation that comes about from the promise of a tangible, marketable reward. A parent may promise, if you do your homework in 30 minutes, I will buy you a new video game. A teacher may promise, if you get a B+ or better on a test, you can have a piece of candy. This form of motivation was developed by BF Skinner, who believed we could manipulate behavior by rewards and punishments. Unfortunately, there are three major consequences: 1) Over time, continuous use of rewards and punishment eats away at internal motivation. 2) What is the limit to the magnitude of rewards? If it is candy when a child is 9 years old, will it be a new car when he is 16 years old? 3) Rewards may have the power to shape certain behaviors, in the moment, but there is no guarantee of generalization to other situations.
Child #3: A Little Bit of Both
There are some children who are highly motivated to take on any challenge! Let's be honest, that is not the majority:) When working with children around motivation, it is important to set goals, assess the skills required for the task, and identify celebrations. It should be noted that internal motivation begins to dwindle when a task seems too difficult, not of great value, and the natural outcome is not reinforcing. While low motivation can be a pervasive problem, focus your initial efforts in an area where there has been more success. Relationships and communication are the cornerstones of rebuilding intrinsic motivation. Setting goals provides a concrete avenue with which to establish mutual excitement, trust, and team work. Build in celebrations each step of the way. For children who are really struggling, I believe celebrations need to be expected. Parents, teachers, and children can work together to create a list of non-commercial items, and then use a lottery system, to keep things fun and exciting. Some of my favorite at home celebration items include special dinner, extra minutes online, later curfew, date with Mom/Dad, breakfast in bed, sleepover, and maid for an hour. While this is not an exhaustive list, these interpersonal opportunities are very exciting for children.
Our gut instinct, as parents and educators, is to punish children when they are non-compliant. I believe that children have certain responsibilities, that are non-negotiable, and deserve punishment in their absence. It is paramount for children to understand the difference between a right and privilege; however, chronic offenders do not change their behavior as a result of punishment. I point this out because when trying to rebuild intrinsic motivation in children, we are often heavy handed in the area of punishment. Ideally, there needs to be a balance between punishment and celebrations. Children who are not doing school, and as a result, earning subpar grades, should not be enjoying the perks of baseball practice, social media, and hanging out with friends. Our error as adults, is expecting that the resolution be the eradication of the problem. That is a wonderful long term goal, but one that will not build intrinsic motivation in the interim. We need to respond to the situation with a very specific focus, identifiable steps, and attainable goal. Punishments and celebrations should be tied to that plan. In reality, if you haven't been practicing for a 5k, how can we expect you to run a marathon?
My Concluding Thoughts
Motivation comes from within; however, we can help facilitate relationships, feedback, and an environment to bolster its development. It is a slow, frustrating, process that for some takes most of their childhood. It can put tremendous strain on the parent/child relationship. Where I struggle, is feeling as though we can change, modify, and take away obstacles to motivation, yet children continue to appear unresponsive. It is a bit like the definition of insanity, where one does the same things over and over, expecting a different outcome! On the other hand, I find my motivation, and grit, in the knowledge that it only takes one time, and one child, to know our efforts were not in vein.
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