Parents of Kids with IEP's: Homework Help!!

"I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework."
                                                                                                                                      -Lily Tomlin

Twenty five years ago (sigh) homework was a curse bestowed upon children as they entered 3rd grade. Today, this right of passage begins in kindergarten.  While parents of typically developing children grumble and groan, homework always gets done, despite karate, baseball, and swimming. Their children aren't always thrilled, but every night they sit down and work diligently to earn good grades.

If you are the parent of a child with a learning difference, ADHD, Autism, or other challenge, homework is never an activity that can be squeezed in before or after extracurriculars.  This "homework routine" teachers encourage, is actually an unpredictable window of time in which you have to gear up for a huge battle, too many worksheets, utter confusion, and disinterest. It's as if your child has been anywhere but school, with comments like, "I don't know." "She didn't tell us." "I thought it was in my backpack." "That's not homework." Then there is the night you unexpectedly work late, or basketball practice is moved to 5:00 p.m., and the result is a total meltdown.  Here are some tips to ease the misery of homework; however, let's be real, it still feels like you're reliving some horrific version of your own childhood. 

Homework Hints
1. Prioritize! Homework is for practice.  Know your child's academic strengths and challenges. If reading and math are both challenges, forgo social studies/science.  For children who cannot focus on the task at hand, treat homework like a buffet, sampling a few questions from each content area.

2.  Set a time limit it! Homework should not take all evening. An evening of homework or family togetherness? The rule to live by is basically 10 minutes of homework per grade; thus, in kindergarten through 5th grade no attempt should be longer than an hour. In middle school, raise the bar to about ninety minutes. If all else fails, call it a night! When homework takes longer than the suggested time frame, it's being completed by a parent, while your child is yelling, crying, or somewhere else.  

3.  Use dictation and/or scribe! Unless you are doing English/language arts homework, focus on learning content.  It's ok to allow your child to dictate answers, while you do the actual writing. This includes math, reading, science, and social studies homework.  In addition, to create more independence, allow your child to record his/her answers into a voice memo on a phone, tablet, or computer.  Responses can be easily emailed to the classroom teacher(s).  

4.  Reward effort/attitude!  Part of doing homework is to reinforce what has been learned, but it's also about habits.  Acknowledge cooperation, organization, concentration, and effort. When children have challenges with academics, the outcome may never reflect their perseverance, so focus on the process. Remember, small steps can lead to big changes!

5.  Give yourself a break!  Let's be honest, some days the well of patience and energy is depleted. When you have an exceptional child, your "help" with homework is not a few minutes, but every second.  Will the world end if you don't do 20 minutes of reading?  If we take a pass on spelling sentences, will your child never learn to spell? So, the book report is a total mess, will there not be countless other opportunities? You're human!!  Homework is for the rest of your parenting life. Childhood and sanity: Limited & Priceless!!  

IEP Accommodations & Homework
If a student has an IEP (Individual Education Program) there is an entire section dedicated to accommodations and modifications.  This is designed to even the playing field. It's a perfect time to discuss homework struggles and expectations.  School teams are moving away from generic language such as  "modified work", "as needed", and "extended time".  This shift actually provides an opportunity to reflect upon, and plan, for how to make homework more manageable. These are some great questions for parents to consider:

1.  How long can your child sustain concentration?
2.  Does your child need assistance in writing responses?
3.  Do specific subjects require a reduced amount of homework?
4.  Does your child require long term projects to be broken down into individual steps?
5.  Is there an alternate modality in which homework in specific subjects could be completed?
6.  How can technology be incorporated to ensure the homework arrives the next day?

The answer to these questions should help drive what homework expectations should be across content areas.  School teams are always willing to be creative, and meet a student's needs; however, they want to feel there is a partnership, and you are following through with the agreed upon plan.