Finding The Balance: Students, Parents, & Teachers

Side Note

In 2015, parents no longer limit school communication to parent-teacher conferences and open house. They expect daily, weekly, or monthly updates through email, facebook, class websites, or casual “drop ins” after school. While parental involvement is instrumental in student achievement, where is the line between productive partnering and smothering? The term “helicopter” parent has gained popularity in mainstream media, and describes a style of parents who are overly focused on their children, and take too much responsibility for their successes and failures. In an era of education dominated by buzzwords such as Common Core, RTI, benchmark assessments, progress monitoring, and high stakes testing, today’s parents are receiving a new, shinier version of their previous K-12 education. With that in mind, it seems the etiquette of 20 years ago would be considered antiquated at best. How do we forge ahead in developing a healthy, informed, relationship between parents, students, and teachers? 

Early Years

Grades K-2

1. Know the milestones

1. Refer to your state educational website,and ask your child’s teacher the skills expected by the end of each grade level
   
2. Don’t compare!  It’s tough, but in those early years of school, the rate of development varies, especially between girls and boys
   
3. If you are concerned that your child is not on track to meet end of the year goals, ask the teacher what YOU can do at home before enlisting tutors and other specialists.
   

2. Homework is designed for practice

1. The rule of thumb is that homework should increase by10 minutes daily per grade
   
2. Homework is not intended to be a reflection of parents’ achievement, but the skills and effort of the student—sometimes it may be wrong, sloppy, or not done, this is important information to be communicated with the teacher to inform instruction
   
3. If homework is a nightly battle, too hard, or too easy, let your child’s teacher know, he/she will be happy to address your concerns
   

3. Create the expectations around literacy at home

1. Model literacy at home through reading the newspaper, books, or magazines
   
2. Read to your child every night
   
3. Go to the public library and take advantage of different literacy programs available 

Intermediate Years

Grades 3-5

1. Use of an assignment notebook

1. Your child will be recording daily homework, and long-term projects, to be reviewed nightly in a paper or electronic planner
   
2. Signing the assignment notebook is a simple form of communication between yourself and the
   classroom teacher
   
3. Practice matching the recorded assignments with the materials brought home from school—create the habit and expectation that this needs to be happen
   

2. Independence with homework/projects

      a.  Daily homework, and projects, will have directions and rubrics-practice reviewing these with  your child to ensure understanding, and development of good habits
      b.  It is appropriate to help your child obtain the necessary resources, books, and materials to 
           complete a project; however, your child is responsible for the product
      c.  If your child is requiring adult assistance for the majority of homework time, reach out to 
           his/her teacher to determine what modifications can be put in place

3. Study Skills & Test Taking

1. Starting in 3rd grade, your child will begin to have tests in things like social studies, science, math, and health-you will need to introduce and model study strategies
   
2. Check the assignment notebook or website regularly, so you can sit down with your child and set aside the days and times required for reviewing material
   
3. These are the years to introduce, and work with your child, to employ strategies like reviewing practice materials, using a study guide, creating note cards, and using online resources 
   

Middle School

Grades 6-8

1. Visit the school's website

1. Check the school Calendar
2. Note important testing dates
3. Check upcoming events

2. Visit the teacher's website with your child

1. Make this a nightly activity-note any big projects or tests
2. Go through the daily assignments, and be sure your child has them
3. Be familiar with the inks to online textbooks and materials
4. Review grades through the online portal

3. If your child has a question, HE/SHE can contact the teachers

1. Help your child craft an email to a teacher
2. Provide transportation to allow your child to go in before school
3. If your child is going to be absent, he/she can approach the teacher for required work

4. Support organization/time management skill development

1. Talk with your child to identify a preferred method for keeping work by subject prior to the year starting
2. Check your child's binder regularly and talk about what needs to be kept, thrown out, or put in a different location
3. Help your child to create  daily and/or weekly lists to prioritize responsibilities

5. Support homework/study skills expectations

1. If your child needs additional support, provide the tools and resources to find the answer, don't be the answer
2. If homework becomes excessive, assess your child's attention to task, motivation, and level of distraction and make decisions accordingly
3. Suggest different methods for studying, such as flashcards, review of practice items, and online resources-you should be the final step in this process, not the first

High School

Grades 9-12

1. Limit unsupervised time on phones and tablets

1. Ask for your teen's phone during hours dedicated for homework and studying
2. If your teen appears to be doing excessive amounts of work on the computer, have him/her in a shared work space
3. Become familiar with the school's online setup of books and materials 

2. Set limits and expectations for the number of expected school related clubs and athletics

1. Know your teen's time management skills-school work is a priority, and do not provide excuses if your child cannot finish required work due to extracurricular activities
2. Be familiar with clubs and athletic opportunities, so you can identify pros/cons with your child for areas of interest
3. If your child is going to bed between 11 and 12 most nights, reduce the number of commitments

3. Guide your teen to independent decision making

1. There will be lots of course options for students to select, talk about the connection between current courses and future goals
2. Encourage your teen to meet regularly with his/her guidance counselor, and seek out individual teachers to help inform decision making
3. When allowing your teen to create his/her schedule, discuss how free periods can and should be used, and the importance of time management

4. Allow your teen to learn from his/her mistakes

1. Poor quiz/test grades should result in a dialogue around study skills, areas of improvement, and a new plan moving forward
2. Encourage your child to seek out the teacher if he/she is earning sub par grades, and get extra help
3. Before enlisting tutors and outside supports, ensure that your child is taking full advantage of the built in school supports