The ABC's of Bullying

Types of Bullying

Verbal Bullying
Verbal bullying is saying, writing, or using technology to tease, name call, threaten, or sexually harass another individual over time.

Social Bullying (Relational Aggression)
Social bullying involves ruining someone’s reputation or relationships. This includes behaviors such as purposely excluding someone, spreading rumors, telling others not to be his/her friend, and publicly embarrassing an individual. While this can happen during school hours, and face to face, it has become increasingly more likely to transpire via text messaging and social media.

Physical Bullying
Physical bullying includes threatening to hurt a person’s body and/or possessions. Examples include pushing, hitting, spitting, taking personal items, and making rude gestures.

Signs of Bullying

• Unexplained loss of, or damage to, personal possessions
• Unexplained physical marks or bruising
• Suddenly sullen, lonely, or withdrawnActs sad, moody, angry, or depressed
• Somatic complaints (headache, stomachache, goes to the nurse)
• Change in sleeping or eating habitsSignificant drop in grades
• Chooses not to spend time with a familiar peer group
• Expresses fear about riding the school busOverall marked change in personality 

Bullying & Cyberspace Tips for Children

Protect Your Accounts
Your social media accounts, and phone access, are personal. Do not give out passwords or let others sign on as you.

Use Safety Features
The majority of social media has services which allow you to “block” a person. If you are receiving inappropriate communication, take advantage of this, to prevent any escalation.

Don’t Engage
Sometimes our first reaction is to “respond” with hurtful comments in return, but that just continues the cycle of bullying. It also opens you up to getting in trouble. Try to step back, not respond, or use humor to deescalate the situation.

Keep the Evidence
When bullying using technology, it is very easy to save text messages, social media posts, and pictures. If you are concerned that the evidence will be tampered with, take a picture or screen shot.

Tell the Person to Stop
If you feel comfortable, tell the person that you will not stand for this kind of treatment, and it needs to stop. You could practice this with a trusted friend or adult.

Get Help
Sometimes situations get out of hand, and unmanageable quickly. If you feel that the situation requires adult intervention, talk to a teacher, parent, or relative. It’s always good to have backup. 

Schools & Bullying

Illinois requires a social emotional learning curriculum in all K-12 school districts. The state also has anti-bullying laws, but no model or policy in which schools can refer. The law requires each school district to create their own policy and procedure.Schools are required to provide a definition of bullying, consistent with what is indicated in the anti-bullying laws. In addition, procedures should be made known to students, parents, and staff regarding how, and to whom, one should report incidents of bullying behavior. The school personnel should investigate these incidents in a timely manner, notifying the parents of all parties involved, and law enforcement officials if necessary. All information involving the incident(s) and resolution(s), should be documented.Consequences for bullying behavior are determined by school districts. Typically, there is a graduated range of consequences depending on the severity and frequency of the bullying behavior. This should also be documented. Finally, schools should provide access to community mental health providers if any party involved would like to seek additional support. 

What Parents Can Do?

Talk about Bullying
Make a point to talk about bullying. Discuss what it looks like, what to do if you are involved, and reinforce your own values and expectations.

Practice What You Preach
Show your child what kind, supportive, social interactions look like. Avoid gossiping, aggressive behavior, or making judgmental comments in front of your child. Stand up against prejudice.

Create Positive Social Experiences 
Help your child select hobbies and friends that make him/her feel good. Pay attention to your child’s social interactions, and be aware of those that may cause conflict or negative feelings. Help develop problem solving strategies, and encourage your child to spend time with different groups.

Encourage Responsible Online Behavior
 Speak to your child about respectful and responsible online behavior. Make sure your child knows how to protect his/her privacy, and respect the privacy of others. Explain that it is never ok to write something that would not be said to a person directly, or cause them stress or harm.