"Strengths are not activities you're good at, they're activities that strengthen you. A strength is an activity that before you're doing it you look forward to doing it; while you're doing it, time goes by quickly and you can concentrate; after you've done it, it seems to fulfill a need of yours."
-Marcus Buckingham
As any parent, educator, or mental health expert knows, this is a generation of over scheduled kids! With a new school year upon us, we have the power to take back our time, families, and carpooling responsibilities. It is common knowledge that structured activities are healthy for kids; however, our competitive, narcissistic, culture has deluded us into believing kids need to simultaneously join multiple sports teams, play an instrument, and take art lessons. If there is a free moment during the week, it's dedicated to homework and tutoring. Having fun with friends in the backyard, at the playground, or on bikes, inadvertently falls to the bottom of our list. For our sanity, and the healthy development of our children, lets try and bring back the fun. Here are some quick tips to ensure a balance between schools, extracurriculars, and relaxation!
Allow Your Son/Daughter To Dabble
Here's the unfortunate truth: the likelihood your children will be world renowned athletes, musicians, or artists is pretty slim. If you're lucky, the reality is they will have diverse interests ranging from soccer to wheel throwing. Let them explore! Consider the courage it takes for children to try new things, and risk failure or embarrassment. These opportunities build character, and may open their eyes to new talents and skills. Finally, it also produces well rounded kids with expansive background knowledge.
Don't Be Like All The Other Parents
There is so much pressure to keep up! I'm not sure if this is a new phenomenon, or it's the result of social media's influence on parenting culture. For the record, a medal is not awarded to the mom arranging the most carpools, staying at games until 10 pm on a school night, or bringing an exhausted kid to school each morning. Just like we all have different metabolisms, energy levels, and frustration tolerance, parenting is subject to our genetic makeup and external forces. Know your limits! If you're dreading having to get in the car again, your kids probably are too! Don't be fooled, or enticed, by the lifestyle of other families.
Quality vs. Quantity
This will likely sound as though I'm speaking out of both sides of my mouth; however, I do feel that if kids develop a real passion in a specific area, allow it to develop. Sometimes, children are exposed to things like swimming, painting, or acting and become completely enamored. That's OK! If children are excited to go, crave learning in that domain, and are meeting like minded peers, consider it a victory. Just remember, the interest, passion, and drive should be kid driven. If you have to coerce, threaten, or beg a kid to participate in an activity, chances are there is an adult agenda. That is not to say children won't have moments where they don't want to participate, but I think we all know the difference.
Value Time Together
I always hear parents say, time goes by too fast. Your children will only be five, seven, fourteen, once. It's up to you how that time is spent. In the car? Stressed out? Eating dinner from a drive through? Research has indicated that family dinners are highly correlated with positive child development. It's while you're eating, playing a game together, or just watching TV, that kids typically want to open up. When you're running late, and racing to the next activity, stress levels are high, and kids just disengage by putting headphones in their ears or playing on the phone/tablet. No one's emotional state is such where there will be bonding and sharing taking place. Remember, childhood is only a one way journey:(
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