A Parent Advocate for All Kinds of Minds

"Our challenge is not to educate the children we used to have or want to have, but to educate the children who come to the schoolhouse door." 

                                                                        -H.G. Wells

Unlike previous generations, parents are involved in their children's daily school experience.  In the old days, parents met with teachers at conference time, spoke via phone (in serious circumstances), and trusted teachers knew best. Today, with email, websites, and online portals, parents have access to a daily account of their child's school experience.  With this knowledge, gone are the days of "out of sight, out of mind."  As we redefine the parent-school partnership, every mom/dad wants to be an advocate for their child. Here are few tips on how to engage with, and not battle, the system.

Develop Relationships
Humans exist to connect with others. Our relationships act as the foundation, and impetus, for accomplishing any task.  Just like in life, your child will have some teachers who more align with your values than others. All teachers, even those described or perceived as strict, boring, lazy, etc. deserve to be affirmed on some level.  If you can find no other basis with which to form a connection, remember at the core is your child. Model the type of coworker, friend, partner, behavior you hope to engender in your child.

Gather All The Information
Perception is reality; however, there are multiple perceptions and realities. Often parents will listen to their child's account of an event, and interpret it is as fact. No one wants to view their child as a cheater, bully, rule breaker, or low achiever.  The truth is, childhood is full of good kids who make poor choices. Before becoming defensive, or waging war, hear all sides of the situation, using this as an opportunity to model active listening and problem solving skills.

Communicate Professionally
Truth 1: Schools educate children, the future of our country
Truth 2: Teachers are educated professionals
Truth 3: Schools are partners in fostering social/emotional development
Truth 4:  Parents are a child's first teacher

As we tell our children, technology often creates a sense of bravado and courage that did not exist when limited to in person conversation.  If you cannot express something to an individual in their presence, DO NOT write it in an email. Also, technology has no tone; thus, you must know your audience. If you wouldn't want your children to read it, then you likely shouldn't write it!

Educate Yourself
I believe that parents have the capacity to cultivate a tremendous sense of community and support. As in any community, it is imperative to separate facts from opinions when obtaining information. Using gossip, or another parent's experience, is an unreliable  way to make a decision. If you have concerns, approach the source, read more, or connect with outside resources.  While this may provide a wealth of knowledge, you are only an expert on your child, not necessarily best practice.  Give the team a chance!