"The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood."
-Ralph Nichols
Navigating the social world of childhood can feel a bit like The Hunger Games meets Divergent. After about 3rd grade, it appears kids have categorized themselves, and others, into specific groups (i.e. athletes, gamers, etc.). Some groups appear to have more power, and better weapons, to defend their self-esteem and social status. It is like a knife through the heart watching your child be teased or rejected by their peers. While parents can't shield their child from every noxious experience, you have more power than you think. Here are some suggestions to bolster your child's social success.
Children who struggle with social skills are more successful in structured settings. Inquire if your school offers any sort of opportunities during the day in which students can interact with peers in an adult lead activity. Within the community, it is often helpful to find art, tech, magic, or music classes where children can interact with others, but rules and expectations are clear.
Children with delayed, or immature social skills, often feel most comfortable at home. This works to your advantage, as you can offer to host play dates or hanging out. Prior to your son or daughter having people over, think about activities each of them enjoy. Make a list of different options prior to their arrival. Also, take some time to think about possible topics of conversation, reflecting on what is going in school, their family, or community.
While we all want our children to have lots of friends, for those who struggle, emphasize quality over quantity. School is significantly more manageable when a child knows there is at least one or two people that will always be in his/her corner. It's natural to encourage children to branch out, and experiment with different relationships, but that doesn't work for all. While requesting teachers or classmates is a practice of the past, don't hesitate to reach out and make the principal aware of who helps your child be successful.
Finally, there is a delicate balance between respecting your child's desire for alone time, and fostering avoidance. Manny kiddos who find peer interactions stressful, need time to decompress. We all have guilty pleasures, and for this population, it tends to be gaming. Limited, monitored "veg out" time on the iPad or Chromebook is totally reasonable. Try to encourage games that involve creativity and imagination, opposed to mindless shooting or destroying.
Children who struggle with social skills are more successful in structured settings. Inquire if your school offers any sort of opportunities during the day in which students can interact with peers in an adult lead activity. Within the community, it is often helpful to find art, tech, magic, or music classes where children can interact with others, but rules and expectations are clear.
Children with delayed, or immature social skills, often feel most comfortable at home. This works to your advantage, as you can offer to host play dates or hanging out. Prior to your son or daughter having people over, think about activities each of them enjoy. Make a list of different options prior to their arrival. Also, take some time to think about possible topics of conversation, reflecting on what is going in school, their family, or community.
While we all want our children to have lots of friends, for those who struggle, emphasize quality over quantity. School is significantly more manageable when a child knows there is at least one or two people that will always be in his/her corner. It's natural to encourage children to branch out, and experiment with different relationships, but that doesn't work for all. While requesting teachers or classmates is a practice of the past, don't hesitate to reach out and make the principal aware of who helps your child be successful.
Finally, there is a delicate balance between respecting your child's desire for alone time, and fostering avoidance. Manny kiddos who find peer interactions stressful, need time to decompress. We all have guilty pleasures, and for this population, it tends to be gaming. Limited, monitored "veg out" time on the iPad or Chromebook is totally reasonable. Try to encourage games that involve creativity and imagination, opposed to mindless shooting or destroying.
No comments:
Post a Comment